August ’17 Horoscope

It’s total eclipse of the everything *plus* Mercury retrograde *plus* Uranus retrograde. Don’t freak though–supreme space witch Remy Ramirez is tellin’ you how to cope.

Straight from the center of the Nasty Galaxy, supreme space witch, Remy Ramirez, is spillin’ the secrets of the cosmos…

Merry birthday, Lion Babes! It’s all things Leo for most of the month, and that means lots of head-turning dramatic entrances, moments in the spotlight, and a solid maintenance of center stage status. Go big or go home when it comes to birthday plans, Leo (as if you’d have it any other way) because the Cosmos are sending us off on a wild ride this month, and you’re right in the middle of it. It starts off with a major square between Jupiter in Libra and Pluto in Capricorn on the 4th. We’ve seen this aspect a couple times before this year, but this marks the last one, and it’s a real doozy. Lemme break it down: Jupiter wants us to expand, grow, and seek, and Libra is about justice, morality, and interconnectedness. The energy of Pluto is intense, driven, not averse to deceit–and it’s in Capricorn, which is about success, money, and work. FUCKING YIKES. These two butting heads is gonna throw some crazy Game of Thrones shit into the mix; keep an eye out for ruthless a-holes willing to do anything to get to the top, and for being a ruthless a-hole yourself. Take the high road in literally every situation that comes your way this month–cashier hands you a penny more than you’re owed? Hand that shit back, girl. Karma’s careening toward us with its angry ass gavel and it ain’t pretty. On the other hand, this aspect could give you a lift in the ‘ole risin’ to the top department, making wins at work that much easier. Just make sure you come correct with every single move you make–from personal to professional–and it’ll help you steer clear of the drama. To keep the dicey momentum flowing, August 7th ushers in a full moon lunar eclipse in Aquarius, meaning the sun in your house of self will be opposing your 7th house of partnerships. Lunar eclipses cause unforeseen changes and bring emotions to a peak, while also helping us clear interpersonal baggage from the previous six months. For you, this is an awesome time to look at how your personal image affects those you’re closest to. If ego is getting in the way of having the kinds of relationships you want–either because you’re so busy feelin’ yourself that you don’t have time to consider what anyone else is feelin’, or because you’re hung up on some old b.s. about not being good enough (childhood’s a bitch, but that’s what therapy’s for), this eclipse is going to shine a floodlight onto the discord, and maybe even cause some unexpected shifts. Your strength is your generosity and big-heartedness, so bring that to the table should conflict arise, and you’ll make a win out of this one. More fun stuff: August 12th brings our fave–Mercury retrograde! This one will be in Virgo most of the month–the sign that oversees Mercury. Your run-of-the-mill Merc. retrograde offerings will be on the table: electronic woes, communication breakdowns, travel hiccups, etc. Virgo’s influence will bring an extra emphasis on indecision, so don’t make any big decisions this month, and def don’t sign any contracts. Virgo can be nit-picky and emotionally aloof, so keep an eye out for conflicts around that. On the upside, Virgo’s also got that boss bitch vibe going on–great for having high standards, strong boundaries, and killer organizational skills, and this retrograde could have you re-examining potential improvements in these areas and making some shifts for the better. On August 21, we’re visited by a new moon solar eclipse in Leo (holla!). This is truly a “fuck yes” moment for you, Fire Mama. The sun, moon, and Mars will all be in Leo, paving the way for both huge self-aggrandizing successes (fame, wealth, praise, etc.) and gnarly conflicts (Mars rules war). This solar eclipse is major—it’s a total eclipse (so get those funky glasses, or whatever, so you can watch it all go down), and will bring big time shake-ups and rapid changes. It wants to show us hidden things, so don’t be surprised if, much like the lunar eclipse, you become privy to super important information you weren’t previously aware of. Beyond that, a really great way to harness this aspect is to make a list of all the things you want to bring into your life. This is an “out with the old, in with the new” energy, so milk it for all it’s worth by really putting the focus on what you would love to see happen in your near future. To help you out with all this, you’ll see a second aspect on the same day: Sun in Leo (that’s you) trine Uranus in Aries. This is about self-confidence, taking risks, and creating exciting changes, and you’re all up in it, so open yourself up to dropping whatever hasn’t been working and trading it in for something infinitely more badass. On the 22nd you get more good news: Mars in Leo (you again!) trines Saturn in Sagittarius. YASSSS, so good! This aligns your passions and work with gettin’ ‘er done in the best way possible. It’s super bomb for hitting projects out of the park, but you gotta invest the time–don’t blow this day by playing happy hour hookie. In terms of boos, Venus is burning up your house of possessions, which is all about pampering and being pampered. If you’re looking for a boo, hang out poolside at a resort or at the bar of a fleeky restaurant. If you’re taken, you and bae ’bout to splurge on each other in a real way. Don’t hold back–it’s good stuff, and the Cosmos condone it—plus YOLO (bringin’ it back, y’all, bringin’ it back). Speaking of the love department, we get a real shake up on the 24th, when Venus in Cancer squares Uranus in Aries, dragging all kinds of drama with it. In its best form, it brings experimentation in the bedroom: S&M, or like, threesomes (it’s a choose-your-own-adventure, but think outside the box, Leo—creativity is key). In its worst form, this aspect brings cheating and other lame forms of fuckboi-dom (NOT into it). For you single gals, you may find a sudden and inexplicable attraction to eccentric types and bad boys/girls. Don’t resist the urges–oppressing your sexuality around this time will make you want to punch someone in the face; just wrap that shit up so you don’t have any regrets later (#adulting). On the 26th, Venus moves into Leo territory, so prepare to crush and heart eye your way through the end of the month (lots of feels, lots of flirting—but more on that in September). The month ends with a bit of a shit move from the Universe, and that’s Mercury retrograde moving into Leo on the 31st. The good news is that it’s for less than a week, but even so, keep your eyes peeled for any wonky goings on toward the month’s end–and when it comes to signing contracts, buying anything mechanical, or engaging in difficult convos of literally any kind, #RESIST, Leo, #RESIST.

Hey Earth Mama! You start out the month slip slidin’ through the house of po$$e$$ion$ (sorry, there’re just a lot of s’s in that word). This house is about bling—treatin’ yo self to the finer things in life (cough, ahem, cough), and amassing the funds that allow that to be a thing. It’s fuckin’ tite, so get out there and get your spree on. With other signs, I might warn about overspending, but that’s generally not your style, Virgo, so heed these words of wisdom: the whole point of making that cash is to use it as a vehicle for enjoying life to the fullest. It’s cool to save, but hoarding money sends a vibration to the Universe that you don’t believe you’re safe, and that prevents a lot of cool shit from being sent your way—def not tite. Ease up on the self-discipline vibes when those hundred dollar bills start rolling in, sister—there’s more where that came from. On the 4th, we get a v intense, v not chill cosmic showdown: a major square between Jupiter in Libra and Pluto in Capricorn (your earth sister, making the vibes a bit stronger for you). We’ve seen this aspect a couple times before this year, but this marks the last one, and it’s a real doozy. Lemme break it down: Jupiter wants us to expand, grow, and seek, and Libra is about justice, morality, and interconnectedness. The energy of Pluto is intense, driven, not averse to deceit–and it’s in Capricorn, which is about success, money, and work. FUCKING YIKES. These two butting heads is gonna throw some crazy Game of Thrones shit into the mix, especially where the job is concerned; keep an eye out for ruthless a-holes willing to do anything to get to the top, and for being a ruthless a-hole yourself. Take the high road in literally every situation that comes your way this month–cashier hands you a penny more than you’re owed? Hand that shit back, girl. Karma’s careening toward us with its angry ass gavel and it ain’t pretty. On the other hand, this aspect could give you a lift in the ‘ole risin’ to the top department, making wins at work that much easier. Just make sure you come correct with every single move you make–from personal to professional–and you’ll steer clear of the drama. On the 7th, we get another powerful hit from the Cosmos: a full moon lunar eclipse in Aquarius, which falls into your house of sexuality and inner transformation. Lunar eclipses cause unforeseen changes and bring emotions to a peak, while also helping us clear interpersonal baggage from the previous six months. For you, this is all about working through the blockages that have prevented you from being the person you want and living the life you want. NBD. Oh yeah, and sex. Because an eclipse puts a focus on our relationships, I would wager some issues are going to come up around healing how you show up in your sexual relationships and pushing you to evolve in that capacity. If this should arise in the form of a good ‘ole lovers’ quarrel, don’t be quick to react. Eclipses impart a volatile energy, so keep it mellow: retreat, meditate on the situation, and come back to the conversation when it’s not so heated. More fun stuff: August 12th brings our fave–Mercury retrograde! This one will be in Virgo most of the month—I know, I know. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball… with spikes on it. Your run-of-the-mill Merc. retrograde offerings will be on the table: electronic woes, communication breakdowns, travel hiccups, etc., and this will be even more so for you, Earth Babe. There will also be an extra emphasis on indecision, so NO big decisions this month, and def don’t sign any contracts. You Virgos can be nit-picky and come across as emotionally aloof (sorry bb, it’s true), so keep an eye out for conflicts around that. On the upside, y’all got that boss bitch vibe going on–great for having high standards, strong boundaries, and killer organizational skills, and this retrograde could have you re-examining ways to improve in these areas and make them even better. On the 21st, we’re visited by a new moon solar eclipse in Leo. The sun, moon, and Mars will all be in Leo, paving the way for huge, self-aggrandizing successes (fame, wealth, praise, etc.) or, on the other end of the spectrum, some gnarly conflicts and even violence (Mars is the planet of war). In other words, this solar eclipse is major—it’s a total eclipse (so get those funky glasses, or whatever, so you can watch it all go down), and will bring huge shake-ups and rapid changes. It wants to show us hidden things, so don’t be surprised if, much like the lunar eclipse, you become privy to super important information you weren’t previously aware of. Beyond that, a really great way to harness this aspect is to make a list of all the things you want to bring into your life–this is an “out with the old, in with the new” energy, so milk it for all it’s worth by really putting the focus on what you would love to see happen in your near future. In boo town, Venus is hitting up your house of communication, which you’re probably really effing tired of since the sun was circling this house for you last month; NOT subtle, Universe! The lesson here: you gotta loosen those lips, Virgo. Just imagine Madonna being like, “Open your heart to me,” while being all sexy in that peep show situation (sort of objectifying, but also, like, women’s lib? Ugh, so confusing). What I mean is: communication, to be successful, requires an open heart. Ego’s gotta take a backseat to vulnerability if you really want to make strides here. The fact that Venus is pushing this agenda while the full Moon is hitting up your house of sex and transformation makes the Cosmos’ message v clear: be brave in how you express your feelings and desires to others. You’re great with boundaries—and there’s a lot to be said for that—but when it comes to love, you’ve gotta let that wall down. Not to beat a dead horse, but the month ends with a placement that’s basically a fat bullhorn to your face: Sun in Virgo conjuncts Mercury in Virgo on the 26th. Know what this aspect is about? That’s right: communication. Know who this aspect is directed at? You guessed it. Look girl, it’s some v real shit and the stars are not having any backtalk, so save yourself the struggle, and just let it out. I know it might seem scary, but there’s a whole world of good waiting on the other side.

Sup Libra Ladies? This Leo Sun is transiting your house of communication, and as an air sign, you’re all about it. Libras have the gift of gab coupled with the gift of charm, and that combo is def part of what makes you such a babe. Because this transit is being filtered through Leo, a sign that oversees issues surrounding self-image, it’s a time to look at how the conversations you enter into are connected to your ego and sense of self-worth. Are you concerned with being right, or are you simply expressing your perspective? Do you hold back because you don’t feel entitled to your opinions? Is how you come across more important to you than what you’re actually saying? These questions will likely come up big time this month, but the good news is that it’s a great opportunity to look honestly at your communication style and the issues that underlie it. On the 4th, we get a v intense, v not chill cosmic showdown that’s all up in your biz: a major square between Jupiter in Libra (that’s you) and Pluto in Capricorn. We’ve seen this aspect a couple times before this year, but this marks the last one, and it’s a real doozy. Lemme break it down: Jupiter wants us to expand, grow, and seek, and Libra is about justice, morality, and interconnectedness. The energy of Pluto is intense, driven, not averse to deceit–and it’s in Capricorn, which is about success, money, and work. FUCKING YIKES. These two butting heads is gonna throw some crazy Game of Thrones shit into the mix, especially where the job is concerned; keep an eye out for ruthless a-holes willing to do anything to get to the top, and for being one of those ruthless a-holes yourself. Take the high road in literally every situation that comes your way this month–cashier hands you a penny more than you’re owed? Hand that shit back, girl. Karma’s careening toward us with its angry ass gavel and it ain’t pretty. On the other hand, this aspect could give you a lift in the ‘ole risin’ to the top department, making wins at work that much easier. Just make sure you come correct with every single move you make–from personal to professional–and you’ll (hopefully maybe) steer clear of the drama. On the 7th, we get another powerful hit from the Cosmos: a full moon lunar eclipse in Aquarius, which falls into your house of higher mental pursuits and horizon broadening (travel to foreign places, etc.). Lunar eclipses cause unforeseen changes and bring emotions to a peak, while also helping us clear interpersonal baggage from the previous six months. Aquarius wants us to think outside of ourselves and to let go of any self-imposed boundaries. Its energy is about creating wins for the whole, not only for the individual, and using innovation to do so. To have this vibe filtering your house of higher mental pursuits is pretty rad because it will give you insight into how to make your life’s work/path more connective and beneficial for the masses (YAS purposeful living YAS). It should be said: lunar eclipses are hardcore, and they will not hesitate to pull the rug out from under you, so if you see some big changes (potentially in a job situation) around this time, don’t be alarmed; it’s just the cosmos rearranging your life with like, no tact or subtlety, but with all the best of intentions. More fun stuff: August 12th brings our fave–Mercury retrograde! This one will be in Virgo most of the month–the sign that oversees Mercury. Your run-of-the-mill Merc. retrograde offerings will be on the table: electronic woes, communication breakdowns, travel hiccups, etc. Virgo’s influence will bring an extra emphasis on indecision, so don’t make any big decisions this month, and def don’t sign any contracts. Virgo can be nit-picky and emotionally aloof, so keep an eye out for conflicts around that. On the upside, Virgo’s also got that boss bitch vibe going on–great for having high standards, strong boundaries, and killer organizational skills, and this retrograde could have you re-examining ways to improve in these areas, ultimately making some shifts for the better. In the romance dept., Venus in Cancer will be floating through your house of home and stability. It’s not about excitement, it’s about being grounded in love and staying the course. Cancer LOVES the home, loves nesting and all things domestic, and is generally a dependable, nurturing sign. This can have literal meaning, aka staying in with bae and binge watching True Blood before preening each other and hitting the sack, or it can be about finding a home in your partner (honestly? so hot tho). If you’re looking for love, ditch those last call hooks-ups and set your sights on someone dependable and loyal—the Cosmos are calling a spade a spade. Speaking of Venus, you’ll be in the middle of a Libra-centric aspect mid-month that really could go either way: Venus in Cancer square Jupiter in Libra on the 17th. It lends itself to indulgence, fun, and lightheartedness (all things you’re a natural at). This is great news unless you need to get shit done, so to really make this day awesome, get all your homework turned in ahead of time, know what I mean? This is a day to call in sick and hang out with your crew—which you, like, literally need to do—just make sure there are no loose ends to be tied before you get your hookie on. On August 21, we’re visited by a new moon solar eclipse in Leo (a total eclipse, so get those funky glasses, or whatever, so you can watch it all go down). The sun, moon, and Mars will all be in Leo on this day, paving the way for potentially huge, self-aggrandizing successes (fame, wealth, praise, etc.), but also for gnarly conflicts and potentially even violence (Mars rules war). In other words: this solar eclipse is major and will bring big time shake-ups and rapid changes. It wants to show us hidden things, so don’t be surprised if, much like the lunar eclipse, you become privy to super important information you weren’t previously aware of. Beyond that, a really great way to harness this aspect is to make a list of all the things you want to bring into your life–this is an “out with the old, in with the new” energy, so milk it for all it’s worth by really putting the focus on what you would love to see happen in your near future (this, for example, plus this and this, too). To help you out with all this, we’ll see a second aspect on the same day: Sun in Leo trine Uranus in Aries. This is about self-confidence, taking risks, and creating exciting changes, so open yourself up to dropping whatever hasn’t been working on this day, and trading it in for something infinitely more badass.

Hey hey Water Mama! You get the month started with the Sun circling your house of home and stability. You love this house anyway—it’s about loyalty and dependability, both attributes you value—but it’s especially fun this month because it’s being filtered through generous, fun, image-conscious Leo. This combo can translate to your actual digs and whatever projects you have going on to make it cuter (upgrading from posters to actual art, buying those $80 coffee table books bc #attractive, buying sheets with a thread count so high you feel obligated to document the occasion on your Insta-story, etc.). This house could also be about your personal stability. If that’s the case, Leo’s energy may ask you to look at issues surrounding self-confidence, arrogance, and self-promotion (we’re basically geniuses in making that easier, btw) to check in on where you need to scale back and where you could stand to beef it up. If that’s the case, you may see some emotional sparks fly as the month pushes on because we get a v intense, v not chill cosmic showdown on the 4th: a major square between Jupiter in Libra and Pluto in Capricorn. We’ve seen this aspect a couple times before this year, but this marks the last one, and it’s a real doozy. Lemme break it down: Jupiter wants us to expand, grow, and seek, and Libra is about justice, morality, and interconnectedness. The energy of Pluto is intense, driven, not averse to deceit–and it’s in Capricorn, which is about success, money, and work. FUCKING YIKES. These two butting heads is gonna throw some crazy Game of Thrones shit into the mix, especially where the job is concerned; keep an eye out for ruthless a-holes willing to do anything to get to the top, and for being one of those ruthless a-holes yourself. Take the high road in literally every situation that comes your way this month–cashier hands you a penny more than you’re owed? Hand that shit back, girl. Karma’s careening toward us with its angry ass gavel and it ain’t pretty. On the other hand, this aspect could give you a lift in the ‘ole risin’ to the top department, making wins at work that much easier. Just make sure you come correct with every single move you make–from personal to professional–and you’ll steer clear (maybe hopefully) of the drama. On the 7th, we get another powerful hit from the Cosmos: a full moon lunar eclipse in Aquarius, which falls into your house of fame and career. Aquarius is a super forward-thinking sign that gives no fucks about tradition or pleasing the status quo. It’s unique, individual, ahead of its time. This energy falling into your house of fame during an already unpredictable full moon eclipse could go a lot of different directions, but here’s what I’ll say: be ready for something unexpected to get you noticed in your career, and be ready for it to happen sort of overnight. It could be good or bad—there’s no way to know with eclipses, but if you’ve been ready for a professional shake down, rest assured that it’s coming. And if you’ve been longing to express your individuality at work, that should be on its way, too. More fun stuff: August 12th brings our fave–Mercury retrograde! This one will be in Virgo most of the month–the sign that oversees Mercury. Your run-of-the-mill Merc. retrograde offerings will be on the table: electronic woes, communication breakdowns, travel hiccups, etc. Virgo’s influence will bring an extra emphasis on indecision, so don’t make any big decisions this month, and def don’t sign any contracts. Virgo can be nit-picky and emotionally aloof, so keep an eye out for conflicts around that. On the upside, Virgo’s also got that boss bitch vibe going on–great for having high standards, strong boundaries, and killer organizational skills, and this retrograde could have you re-examining ways to improve in these areas, ultimately making some shifts for the better. On August 21, we’re visited by a new moon solar eclipse in Leo (a total eclipse, so get those funky glasses, or whatever, so you can watch it all go down). The sun, moon, and Mars will all be in Leo on this day, paving the way for both huge self-aggrandizing successes (fame, wealth, praise, etc.) and gnarly conflicts (even violence, since Mars rules war). This solar eclipse is major and will bring huge shake-ups and rapid changes. It wants to show us hidden things, so don’t be surprised if, much like the lunar eclipse, you become privy to super important information you weren’t previously aware of. Beyond that, a really great way to harness this energy is to make a list of all the things you’d like to usher into your life. This is an “out with the old, in with the new” energy, so milk it for all it’s worth by really putting the focus on what you would love to see happen in your near future .To help out with all this, we’ll see a second aspect on the same day: Sun in Leo trine Uranus in Aries. This is about self-confidence, taking risks, and creating exciting changes, so open yourself up to dropping whatever hasn’t been working on this day, and trading it in for something infinitely more badass. You don’t have a hand in either of these aspects, but the vibes are strong enough to register on everyone’s chart, so get ready. In the romance dept., Venus in Cancer is hitting up your house of play, pleasure, and children. Ok, here’s what’s weird about this: this house is fun-loving and lighthearted; it just wants to have a good time (aka ‘Mo Commitment ‘Mo Problems). Cancer, who’s filtering this energy for you, is not a fun loving, happy-go-lucky sign—her energy is earnest, domestic, and emotionally charged. One place where these houses find common ground is with children: Cancer loves to mother, the 5th house loves children. If you’re trying to get pregnant, this is a great time for that, but… uhhh… if that’s not the case, you need to be extra careful. With all this eclipse business happening, a lot can change in the blink of an eye, so trust me when I say you need to wrap. it. up. girl. Wrap that shit on up. Seriously. Wrap it. Another way that this energy could go is either longing for or receiving a balance between fun and nurturing from your boo this month. So like, s/he/ze draws y’all a bath, but then instead of getting sexy, you get in and play bath Scrabble (not a thing? well it really should be). Speaking of Venus, the 17th brings us another fun aspect: Jupiter in Libra square Venus in Cancer (your water sister, aka this aspect will pack a bit more punch for you). It lends itself to indulgence and a carefree joie de vivre, which you Scorps need every once in a while to get you out of all that sexy brooding you’re so good at. Anyway, it’s super good, fun vibes *unless* you need to get shit done, so to really make this day awesome, get all your homework turned in ahead of time, know what I mean? This is a day to call in sick and hang out with your crew—just make sure there are no loose ends to be tied before you get your hookie on. The month rounds out with another love note from Venus in the form of a square with Uranus in Aries on the 24th. This baby is dragging all kinds of drama with it. In its best form, it brings experimentation in the bedroom: S&M, or like, threesomes (it’s a choose-your-own-adventure, and I trust you’ll have no problem getting creative with it, Scorp). In its worst form, this aspect brings cheating and other lame forms of fuckboi-dom (NOT into it). For you single gals, you may find a sudden and inexplicable attraction to eccentric types and/or bad boys/girls. Don’t resist the urges–oppressing your sexuality around this time will only make you want to punch someone in the face. Just remember what I said about wrapping it up, and you’ll be able to have your cake and sext it, too—no regrets necessary.

Get your dancing shoes on, Sag, it’s play time! The Sun in boisterous, fun-loving Leo is hitting up your house of pleasure and lightheartedness. THIS COMBO THO. It’s literally the best time you’ve ever had, so make a point to do all the fun things: travel to rad cities, smooch cuties, drink poolside margaritas, solve Sudoku puzzles (hey, sometimes that shit is really fun). Get your rocks off while you can because on the 4th, we get a v intense, v not chill cosmic showdown: a major square between Jupiter in Libra and Pluto in Capricorn. We’ve seen this aspect a couple times before this year, but this marks the last one, and it’s a real doozy. Lemme break it down: Jupiter wants us to expand, grow, and seek, and Libra is about justice, morality, and interconnectedness. The energy of Pluto is intense, driven, not averse to deceit–and it’s in Capricorn, which is about success, money, and work. FUCKING YIKES. These two butting heads is gonna throw some crazy Game of Thrones shit into the mix, especially where the job is concerned; keep an eye out for ruthless a-holes willing to do anything to get to the top, and for being a ruthless a-hole yourself. Take the high road in literally every situation that comes your way this month–cashier hands you a penny more than you’re owed? Hand that shit back, girl. Karma’s careening toward us with its angry ass gavel and it ain’t pretty. On the other hand, this aspect could give you a lift in the ‘ole risin’ to the top department, making wins at work that much easier. Just make sure you come correct with every single move you make–from personal to professional–and you’ll (maybe hopefully) steer clear of the drama. On the 7th, we get another powerful hit from the Cosmos: a full moon lunar eclipse in Aquarius, which falls into your house of friends and aspirations. This is amazing because Aquarius actually rules this house, so the vibes are even stronger. Be on the lookout for powerful connections with your crew at this time (this includes organizations you belong to): ways that they can—and are excited to—lend a helping hand to your hustle and see you achieve big thangs. Eclipses bring quick changes, so if something like this jumps out at you unexpectedly, don’t be surprised. Also don’t be surprised if the opposite is true: if your homies are acting like a bunch of bitches (happens to the best of us). The full moon eclipse is totally unpredictable, so the better part of valor is to prepare for your girls to show up like a Girls episode: either the one where they team up to make Marnie’s heinous wedding a success, or the one where they head to the North Fork and make a mockery of that insane beach house with their mutual hatred of one another (insert shrug emoji). More fun stuff: August 12th brings our fave–Mercury retrograde! This one will be in Virgo most of the month–the sign that oversees Mercury. Your run-of-the-mill Merc. retrograde offerings will be on the table: electronic woes, communication breakdowns, travel hiccups, etc. Virgo’s influence will bring an extra emphasis on indecision, so don’t make any big decisions this month, and def don’t sign any contracts. Virgo can be nit-picky and emotionally aloof, so keep an eye out for conflicts around that. On the upside, Virgo’s also got that boss bitch vibe going on–great for having high standards, strong boundaries, and killer organizational skills, and this retrograde could have you re-examining ways to improve in these areas, ultimately making some shifts for the better. On August 21, we’re visited by a new moon solar eclipse in Leo (a total eclipse, so get those funky glasses, or whatever, so you can watch it all go down). Being Leo’s fire sister, you may feel this energy stronger than others, which is saying a lot bc this baby’s no joke. The sun, moon, and Mars will all be in Leo on this day, paving the way for both huge self-aggrandizing successes (fame, wealth, praise, etc.) and gnarly conflicts (even violence, since Mars is the planet of war). Long story short: this solar eclipse is major and will bring big time shake-ups and rapid changes. It wants to show us hidden things, so don’t be surprised if, much like the lunar eclipse, you become privy to super important information you weren’t previously aware of. Beyond that, a really great way to harness this aspect is to make a list of all the things you want to bring into your life–this is an “out with the old, in with the new” energy, so milk it for all it’s worth by really putting the focus on what you would love to see happen in your near future. To help you out with all this, we’ll see a second aspect on the same day: Sun in Leo trine Uranus in Aries (your fire sisters, giving you some extra access to the vibes). This is about self-confidence, taking risks, and creating exciting changes, so open yourself up to dropping whatever hasn’t been working and trading it in for something infinitely more badass. Again, you share Leo’s fire, and that will give you even more of the good vibes. On the 22nd you get more good news: Saturn in Sagittarius (that’s you!) trines Mars in Leo. YASSSS, so good! This aligns your passions and work with gettin’ ‘er done in the best way possible. It’s super bomb for hitting projects out of the park, but you gotta invest the time–don’t blow this day by playing happy hour hookie. In terms of boos, Venus is flirting up your house of work and health. This is great for office romances, or even meeting someone at a gym or yoga class. Alternatively, this placement could have more to do with a strong feminine energy entering your work sphere, whether through doing work that focuses on women, or through a female mentor entering the scene—so keep an eye out there, too. Speaking of Venus, we get a real shake up on the 24th, when Venus in Cancer squares Uranus in Aries (your other fire sister—making this a little more potent for you). All kinds of drama could be coming with this aspect. In its best form, it brings experimentation in the bedroom: S&M, or like, threesomes (it’s a choose-your-own-adventure, but think outside the box, Sag—creativity is key). In its worst form, this aspect brings cheating and other lame forms of fuckboi-dom (NOT into it). For you single gals, you may find a sudden and inexplicable attraction to eccentric types and/or bad boys/girls. Don’t resist the urges–oppressing your sexuality around this time will make you want to punch someone in the face, just wrap that shit up so you don’t have any regrets later (#adulting), and have the time of your life, Sag. On the 25th, Saturn, who’s been retrograding in your sign for, like, a million years, goes direct. THIS IS BOMB. Saturn is a planet that values discipline, tradition, and hard lessons learned—it wants you to buckle down and commit, and has no time for fun or silliness. It’s challenging enough to have Saturn transiting your sun sign, but when it retrogrades (which it’s been doing since April 5th), it turns the focus of all those hard lessons learned to your past, bringing up some of your most deeply rooted pain. It’s cosmic medicine that you need to heal and grow, but like, also, fuck yeah that it’s over. Now you just have to make it to December, when it will move out of Sag for like 30 years (countdown is on…).

Sup, Cap! You’re totes in your element this month, with the Leo Sun falling into your house of work and health. You’re nothing if not diligent once you’ve put your mind to something, and that’s what this house is requiring of you: nose. to. grindstone. The fun part is that Leo is filtering this energy, so either a Leo in your life will play a role in all this work (that slave-driving boss?), or it will be work that is somehow related to your self-image/self-promotion. If you’re an entrepreneur, this could also be related to getting your business’ name out there. The word of warning I always impart with this house—and it’s especially relevant for you, Cap—is not to overwork yourself. This house shares a health aspect because people be cray and work for like a thousand hours and then they wonder why they wake up one day with an auto-immune disorder. Balance that hustle, girl—you only have one body, and it requires sleep, kale, and hot make out seshes. On the 4th, we get a v intense, v not chill cosmic showdown: a major square between Jupiter in Libra and Pluto in Capricorn (yes, you—ugh). We’ve seen this aspect a couple times before this year, but this marks the last one, and it’s a real doozy. Lemme break it down: Jupiter wants us to expand, grow, and seek, and Libra is about justice, morality, and interconnectedness. The energy of Pluto is intense, driven, not averse to deceit–and it’s in Capricorn, which is about success, money, and work. FUCKING YIKES. These two butting heads is gonna throw some crazy Game of Thrones shit into the mix, especially where the job is concerned; keep an eye out for ruthless a-holes willing to do anything to get to the top, and for being a ruthless a-hole yourself. Take the high road in literally every situation that comes your way this month–cashier hands you a penny more than you’re owed? Hand that shit back, girl. Karma’s careening toward us with its angry ass gavel and it ain’t pretty. On the other hand, this aspect could give you a lift in the ‘ole risin’ to the top department, making wins at work that much easier. You’re ALL up in the aspect, so make sure you come correct with every single move you make–from personal to professional–and you’ll (maybe hopefully) steer clear of the drama. On the 7th, we get another powerful hit from the Cosmos: a full moon lunar eclipse in Aquarius, which falls into your house of the subconscious. Aquarius rules social spheres, so this is a great time for you to find some solitude and reflect on your relationships with others. Are you connecting as deeply as you want? Are you getting all the feels you want from others, and are you giving them in return? Meditating on this day is a great idea—even if it’s just by going on a walk through nature by yourself. If some big emotions come up, write them all out. Adulting doesn’t just mean making money; it also means taking responsibility for our spiritual and emotional well-being, and the lunar eclipse is going to hand us that wake up call in a real way. This house can also instigate bummer shit like gossip, and since lunar eclipses bring surprise info, quick changes, and heightened emotions to the surface, don’t be shocked if someone’s slanderous and scandalous shit talk circles back your way. Should that happen, girl, you just take that high road and realize you have better ways to spend your time than getting involved in that mess (although if you need to punch pillows, that’s def time well spent). More fun stuff: August 12th brings our fave–Mercury retrograde! This one will be in Virgo most of the month–the sign that oversees Mercury. Virgo is your earth sister, making the vibes a little stronger for you. Expect your run-of-the-mill Merc. retrograde offerings: electronic woes, communication breakdowns, travel hiccups, etc., plus an extra Virgo-inspired emphasis on indecision–so don’t make any big decisions this month, and def don’t sign any contracts. Virgo can be nit-picky and emotionally aloof, so also keep an eye out for conflicts around that. On the upside, Virgo’s got that boss bitch vibe going–great for having high standards, strong boundaries, and killer organizational skills, and this retrograde could have you re-examining how to improve in these areas and making some shifts for the better. On August 21, we’re visited by a new moon solar eclipse in Leo (a total eclipse, so get those funky glasses, or whatever, so you can watch it all go down). The sun, moon, and Mars will all be in Leo on this day, paving the way for both “fuck yes” vibes (which we’re happy to help you amplify) and self-aggrandizing successes (fame, wealth, praise, etc.) but also for gnarly conflicts (and even violence, since Mars is the planet of war). This solar eclipse is major and will bring big time shake-ups and rapid changes. It wants to show us hidden things, so don’t be surprised if, much like the lunar eclipse, you become privy to super important information you weren’t previously aware of. Beyond that, a really great way to harness this aspect is to make a list of all the things you want to bring into your life–this is an “out with the old, in with the new” energy, so milk it for all it’s worth by really putting the focus on what you would love to see happen in your near future. In love land, Venus in commitment-loving Cancer is hitting up your house of partnerships. If you’re looking to get someone on lock, this is a great time! Cancer has a very nurturing energy, so relationships that allow emotional vulnerability and mutual tenderness are especially favored right now. If you’re already taken, this is a good time to initiate some intense TLC with bae (not the acclaimed ‘90s hip hop group, but also def the acclaimed ‘90s hip hop group): romantic baths together, couple’s massage, holding hands while maintaining eye contact while using “I” statements to understand why tf you can’t come to some kind of understanding about taking the trash out—these are all great ideas. Speaking of healthy communication, the month ends with a placement that encourages talking, writing, and getting ideas across: Sun in Virgo conjunct Mercury in Virgo on the 26th. Because you share that earth element with Virgo, the vibes will be a bit stronger for you, so anything in the publishing, IRL interaction, and general mouth-using arenas will go over famously.

Hey hey, Aquarius! You start the month off with a Leo Sun lighting up your house of partnerships. This is great for getting a cutie on lock or even finding a business partner or mentor. With Leo’s influence, this special someone may actually be a Leo or have a prominent Leo placement in their chart; alternately, the energy of Leo may be the magical element needed to help you find that person. This includes self-promotion, presenting yourself with confidence, or showing generosity by listening openly to the ideas of others. You may also find that a current Leo partner you already have in your life requires much attending to this month, so keep an eye out for that, and keep the crazy cosmic goings on in mind while you do. Case in point: on the 4th we get a v intense, v not chill cosmic showdown: Jupiter in Libra square Pluto in Capricorn. We’ve seen this aspect a couple times before this year, but this marks the last one, and it’s a real doozy. Lemme break it down: Jupiter wants us to expand, grow, and seek, and Libra is about justice, morality, and interconnectedness. The energy of Pluto is intense, driven, not averse to deceit–and it’s in Capricorn, which is about success, money, and work. FUCKING YIKES. These two butting heads is gonna throw some crazy Game of Thrones shit into the mix, especially where the job is concerned; keep an eye out for ruthless a-holes willing to do anything to get to the top, and for being one of those ruthless a-holes yourself. Take the high road in literally every situation that comes your way this month–cashier hands you a penny more than you’re owed? Hand that shit back, girl. Karma’s careening toward us with its angry ass gavel and it ain’t pretty. On the other hand, this aspect could give you a lift in the ‘ole risin’ to the top department, making wins at work that much easier. You don’t have a direct hand in this aspect, but because you share Libra’s air element, you may feel the vibes a bit more. Just make sure you come correct with every single move you make–from personal to professional–and you’ll (fingers crossed) steer clear of the drama. On the 7th, we get another powerful hit from the Cosmos: a full moon lunar eclipse in Aquarius. That’s right girl; it’s all you! Lunar eclipses are about quick changes, revealing hidden information, and big emotions. With this going on in Aquarius, you’ll want to really look at all that you are and have created: honestly examine your shortcomings and celebrate your wins. Full moons bring the work we’ve invested to a state of fruition–whether that’s something you love or hate directly reflects the vibration you’ve been sending out. There’s no way to know from where I’m standing which way any of this will go, but regardless, the take away is that you’re the creator of your own universe, and that means you take credit for the rad shit as much as the bullshit. If this level of self-assessment feels overwhelming or confusing, just know that this is a great time to take stock: What have you created in your life that you’re super stoked on? What have you created that sucks? What is just not quite where you want it? Get clear, Aquarius, and use that information to guide you. More fun stuff: August 12th brings our fave–Mercury retrograde! This one will be in Virgo most of the month–the sign that oversees Mercury. Your run-of-the-mill Merc. retrograde offerings will be on the table: electronic woes, communication breakdowns, travel hiccups, etc. Virgo’s influence will bring an extra emphasis on indecision, so don’t make any big decisions this month, and def don’t sign any contracts. Virgo can be nit-picky and emotionally aloof, so keep an eye out for conflicts around that. On the upside, Virgo’s also got that boss bitch vibe going–great for having high standards, strong boundaries, and killer organizational skills, and this retrograde could have you re-examining ways to improve in these areas, ultimately making some shifts for the better. In the boo dept., Venus is chatting up your house of sex and transformation. This house is ruled by Scorpio. The energy is v sexy and v intense; it won’t be satisfied with emotionally aloof one-night-stands, but it also won’t be satisfied with a one minute man (or woman or gender non-specific person). Keep this in mind as you’re swipin’ through those profile pics, and stay open to taking IRL flirtations to something more serious. If you’re already in a relash, this is about connection and vulnerability through sexuality, so get your sexy on (but like, literally tho). Speaking of Venus, the 17th brings us another fun aspect: Venus in Cancer square Jupiter in Libra (your air sister, making the vibes a little stronger for you). It lends itself to indulgence and a carefree joie de vivre, which is awesome *unless* you need to get shit done. To really make this day awesome, get all your homework turned in ahead of time, know what I mean? This is a day to call in sick and hang out with your crew—just make sure there are no loose ends to be tied before you get your hookie on. On August 21, we’re visited by a new moon solar eclipse in Leo (a total eclipse, so get those funky glasses, or whatever, so you can watch it all go down). The sun, moon, and Mars will all be in Leo on this day, paving the way for both huge self-aggrandizing successes (fame, wealth, praise, etc.) and gnarly conflicts (even violence, since Mars is the planet of war). This solar eclipse is major and will bring huge shake-ups and rapid changes. It wants to show us hidden things, so don’t be surprised if, much like the lunar eclipse, you become privy to super important information you weren’t previously aware of. Beyond that, a really great way to harness this aspect is to make a list of all the things you want to bring into your life–this is an “out with the old, in with the new” energy, so milk it for all it’s worth by really putting the focus on what you would love to see happen in your near future. The month rounds out with another love note from Venus in the form of a square with Uranus in Aries on August 24th. This baby is dragging all kinds of drama with it. In its best form, it brings experimentation in the bedroom: S&M, or like, threesomes (it’s a choose-your-own-adventure, so use your imagination, Aquarius). In its worst form, this aspect brings cheating and other lame forms of fuckboi-dom (NOT into it). For you single gals, you may find a sudden and inexplicable attraction to eccentric types and/or bad boys/girls. Don’t resist the urges–oppressing your sexuality around this time will only make you want to punch someone in the face. You don’t have any direct relationship to this aspect, but the vibes are strong enough that you’ll want to keep an eye out for b.s., and keep a low-cut bodysuit around, just in case…

Hey hey Pisces! You’re swimming through the house of sex and transformation this month, and it’s v intense. This house is overseen by sultry, brooding Scorpio, and those vibes are all up in it. Last month you were working on clarifying your long-term life vision; this month you’ll be experiencing actual transmutation into that new reality. During the first three weeks of the month especially, look out for opportunities to take risks and jump into new territory that’s in alignment with the vision you’ve been honing in on. And also opps to get laid, apparently. That’s not 100% a guarantee with this house, but it’s def a thing. If it does come up, just know that it will be the kind of sex that leaves a sizable imprint, changing you in lasting ways. On the 4th, we get a v intense, v not chill cosmic showdown: a major square between Jupiter in Libra and Pluto in Capricorn. We’ve seen this aspect a couple times before this year, but this marks the last one, and it’s a real doozy. Lemme break it down: Jupiter wants us to expand, grow, and seek, and Libra is about justice, morality, and interconnectedness. The energy of Pluto is intense, driven, not averse to deceit–and it’s in Capricorn, which is about success, money, and work. FUCKING YIKES. These two butting heads is gonna throw some crazy Game of Thrones shit into the mix, especially where the job is concerned; keep an eye out for ruthless a-holes willing to do anything to get to the top, and for being one of those ruthless a-holes yourself. Take the high road in literally every situation that comes your way this month–cashier hands you a penny more than you’re owed? Hand that shit back, girl. Karma’s careening toward us with its angry ass gavel and it ain’t pretty. On the other hand, this aspect could give you a lift in the ‘ole risin’ to the top department, making wins at work that much easier. Just make sure you come correct with every single move you make–from personal to professional–and you’ll steer clear of the drama. On the 7th, we get another powerful hit from the Cosmos: a full moon lunar eclipse in Aquarius, which will fall into your house of possessions and wealth. A lunar eclipse is about relationships, heightened emotions, revealing hidden things, and causing big upsets in order to restore balance. There’s an unpredictable energy with eclipses, and whether we’ll love or hate what they bring, there’s no way of knowing ahead of time. What I can tell you is to be careful with your money: do NOT buy anything expensive (fancy dinner is cool, but like, no cars or trips to the Caribbean), do everything you can to prevent credit card fraud, and keep an eye on the way that money enters into your relationships. On the one hand, you could totes win a thousand dollars in a contest you didn’t even know you’d entered with this energy, but you could just as easily find out that your ex has been ordering shit from your Amazon account on the sly, so stay woke, Fish Sister. More fun stuff: August 12th brings our fave–Mercury retrograde! This one will be in Virgo most of the month–the sign that oversees Mercury. Your run-of-the-mill Merc. retrograde offerings will be on the table: electronic woes, communication breakdowns, travel hiccups, etc. Virgo’s influence will bring an extra emphasis on indecision, so don’t make any big decisions this month, and def don’t sign any contracts. Virgo can be nit-picky and emotionally aloof, so keep an eye out for conflicts around that. On the upside, Virgo’s also got that boss bitch vibe going–great for having high standards, strong boundaries, and killer organizational skills, and this retrograde could have you re-examining ways to improve in these areas, ultimately making some shifts for the better. On August 21, we’re visited by a new moon solar eclipse in Leo (a total eclipse, so get those funky glasses, or whatever, so you can watch it all go down). The sun, moon, and Mars will all be in Leo on this day, paving the way for both huge self-aggrandizing successes (fame, wealth, praise, etc.) and gnarly conflicts (even violence, since Mars is the planet of war). Basically, it’s major and will bring big time shake-ups and rapid changes. Don’t be surprised if, much like the lunar eclipse, you become privy to super important information you weren’t previously aware of. Beyond that, a really great way to harness this aspect is to make a list of all the things you want to bring into your life–this is an “out with the old, in with the new” energy, so milk it for all it’s worth by really putting the focus on what you would love to manifest in your near future (here are some stellar ideas if you need a little help). In bae-related news, Venus is transiting your house of long-term life philosophies. This is a time when you want to get your sitch on lock—either with someone in specific, or like, just as a general life plan. To that end, you’d do well to ask yourself some specific questions: Is my current boo worthy of perma-boo status? If so, wth am I waiting for? If not, wth amI doing with said boo? On the other hand, am I making delusional attempts to get someone to commit who’s not down? If so, why would I disrespect myself like that? In a totally unrelated possibility, you may end up humping one or more cuties while vacay-ing in some far away and beautiful land, since this house also oversees foreign travels. So there’s that. If you’re happily committed, this is a time to think about how you can bring greater levels of intimacy into the relationship and deepen the connection between you and boo. Speaking of Venus, the 17th brings a really fun aspect: Jupiter in Libra square Venus in Cancer (your water sister, aka this aspect will pack a bit more punch for you). It lends itself to indulgence and a carefree joie de vivre, which you Pisces need every once in a while to get you out of all that moodiness you can get swept away in. It’s super good and fun *unless* you need to get shit done, so to really make this day awesome, get all your homework turned in ahead of time, know what I mean? This is a day to call in sick and hang out with your crew—just make sure there are no loose ends to be tied before you get your hookie on. The month rounds out with another love note from Venus in the form of a square with Uranus in Aries on the 24th. This baby is dragging all kinds of drama with it. In its best form, it brings experimentation in the bedroom: S&M, or like, threesomes (it’s a choose-your-own-adventure, and I trust you’ll have no problem getting creative with it, Pisces.) In its worst form, this aspect brings cheating and other lame forms of fuckboi-dom (NOT into it). For you single gals, you may find a sudden and inexplicable attraction to eccentric types and/or bad boys/girls. Don’t resist the urges–oppressing your sexuality around this time will only make you want to punch someone in the face. Just remember to wrap it up, and you’ll be able to have your cake and sext it, too. All hail inventors of latex.

Dang, ma! You’re on the receiving end of some hardcore cosmic ish this month (some awesome, some wacky, some that’s a total toss up). To start off, the Sun in Leo is transiting your house of long-term life philosophies and higher learning. This can manifest in different ways, but some of the most common are a piqued interest in spirituality (ayahuasca anyone?), going back to school or taking on an apprenticeship, or just, like, general WTF am I doing with my life and how can I do it better? moments. It’s a time to ask big-picture questions designed to expand your horizons and deepen your relationship to this insane experience of being a human. Alternatively, you could just fly to Rio or Tokyo and be like: Holy shit! This world tho! because this house also oversees foreign travels (totes an eye-opening experience as well). On the 3rd, you get your first major cosmic sitch when Uranus in Aries retrogrades. Honestly, this is so much energetic bigness going on at once that it’s hard to say how you’ll experience it, but here’s the rundown: Uranus has a “fuck it, we’re doing this” vibe, and Aries has an “I will destroy you” vibe—y’all can be competitive, determined, and hotheaded (both an asset and a downfall). These two teaming up in retrograde could manifest in multiple ways—none of which are snoozers. Example: It could generally reveal the brash, extreme, narcissistic underbelly of the human condition—affecting you in particular. On the other hand, it might provide an opportunity to work through those pesky internal hang ups that block us from creating ultimate freedom and independence—also affecting you more than others. Uranus retrogrades for 155 days, so whatever lesson is trying to get worked out, you’ll have plenty of time to tune into it. Just be ultra aware of your temper during this time, and ex-nay on the impulsive decisions for the next five months (I know that’s asking a lot, Aries, but trust me on this one). On the 4th, we get a v intense, v not chill cosmic showdown: a major square between Jupiter in Libra and Pluto in Capricorn. We’ve seen this aspect a couple times before this year, but this marks the last one, and it’s a real doozy. Lemme break it down: Jupiter wants us to expand, grow, and seek, and Libra is about justice, morality, and interconnectedness. The energy of Pluto is intense, driven, not averse to deceit–and it’s in Capricorn, which is about success, money, and work. FUCKING YIKES. These two butting heads is gonna throw some crazy Game of Thrones shit into the mix, especially where the job is concerned; keep an eye out for ruthless a-holes willing to do anything to get to the top, and for being one of those ruthless a-holes yourself. Take the high road in literally every situation that comes your way this month–cashier hands you a penny more than you’re owed? Hand that shit back, girl. Karma’s careening toward us with its angry ass gavel and it ain’t pretty. On the other hand, this aspect could give you a lift in the ‘ole risin’ to the top department, making wins at work that much easier. You don’t have any elements involved in this cosmic blowout (aw yeah), but it’s a biggie, so we’ll all feel the effects to some extent. Make sure you come correct with every single move you make–from personal to professional–and you’ll (maybe hopefully) steer clear of the drama. On the 7th, we get another powerful hit from the Cosmos: a full moon lunar eclipse in Aquarius, which lands in your house of communication. A lunar eclipse is about relationships, heightened emotions, revealing hidden things, and causing big upsets in order to restore balance. There’s an unpredictable energy with eclipses, and whether we’ll love or hate what they bring, there’s no way of knowing ahead of time. My hunch for you—especially considering the Uranus retrograde—is that there are going to be some tough conversations, aka verbal throw downs, aka dayuummm. It may be for the best though—you might finally get so fed up with some kind of b.s. that you unleash the fury, making someone important realize they need to get it together. Whatever it is, just be conscientious about your communication style around this day, and do your best not to breathe so much fire that the whole situation goes up in flames. More fun stuff: August 12th brings our fave–Mercury retrograde! This one will be in Virgo most of the month–the sign that oversees Mercury. Your run-of-the-mill Merc. retrograde offerings will be on the table: electronic woes, communication breakdowns, travel hiccups, etc. Virgo’s influence will bring an extra emphasis on indecision, so don’t make any big decisions this month, and def don’t sign any contracts. Virgo can be nit-picky and emotionally aloof, so keep an eye out for conflicts around that. On the upside, Virgo’s also got that boss bitch vibe going–great for having high standards, strong boundaries, and killer organizational skills, and this retrograde could have you re-examining ways to improve in these areas, ultimately making some shifts for the better. On August 21, we’re visited by a new moon solar eclipse in Leo (a total eclipse, so get those funky glasses, or whatever, so you can watch it all go down). The sun, moon, and Mars will all be in Leo on this day (your fire sister, aka you’ll feel the heat more than most), paving the way for both huge self-aggrandizing successes (fame, wealth, praise, etc.) and gnarly conflicts (even violence, since Mars is the planet of war). Basically, it’s major and will bring big time shake-ups and rapid changes. Don’t be surprised if, much like the lunar eclipse, you become privy to super important information you weren’t previously aware of. Beyond that, a really great way to harness this aspect is to make a list of all the things you want to bring into your life–this is an “out with the old, in with the new” energy, so milk it for all it’s worth by really putting the focus on what you would love to manifest in your near future. To help you out with all this, you’ll see a second aspect on the same day: Sun in Leo trine Uranus in Aries (yup, you). This is about self-confidence, taking risks, and creating exciting changes. You’re all up in it, so open yourself to dropping whatever hasn’t been working and trading it in for something infinitely more badass. On the 22nd you get more good news from your fire sisters when Mars in Leo trines Saturn in Sagittarius. YASSSS, so good! This aligns your passions and work with gettin’ ‘er done in the best way possible. It’s super bomb for hitting projects out of the park, but you gotta invest the time–don’t blow this day by playing happy hour hookie. In terms of boos, Venus is transiting your house of fame and success. HOLL. ER. AT. ME. This is the tits. It seriously amps your odds of getting noticed by secret admirers through wins at work, being published, going viral—anything spotlight-related. On the other hand, you may work with a woman around this time who helps get you noticed, or you might become a household name because of work you’re doing with women or in a woman-related field (Venus rules these areas, too). Speaking of Venus, we get a real shake up on the 24th when Venus in Cancer squares Uranus in Aries (you again!). All kinds of drama could be coming with this aspect. In its best form, it brings experimentation in the bedroom: S&M, or like, threesomes (it’s a choose-your-own-adventure, which I have full confidence you’ll make the most of, Aries). In its worst form, this aspect brings cheating and other lame forms of fuckboi-dom (NOT into it). For you single gals, you may find a sudden and inexplicable attraction to eccentric types and/or bad boys/girls. Don’t resist the urges–oppressing your sexuality around this time will only make you want to punch someone in the face. Just wrap that shit up so you don’t have any regrets later (love and light to the inventors of prophylactics).

What’s up, Bull Sisters! You’re hitting the ground running with a transit through the house of career and fame this month, filtered by the zodiac’s ultimate attention grabber: Leo. THIS IS AWESOME. Leo wants to make big things happen—wants success, praise, and access to all the parties and all the after parties. For Leo’s energy to infuse your dip into the house of fame is super auspicious. It will only amplify the vibes and make seeing your name in lights that much easier and that much more fun. To help the momentum along, get out there and self-promote. Any projects you’re working on, now’s the time to tell the world about them. And if you need help getting your foot in the door, we happen to have just the thing… er things. On the 4th, we get a v intense, v not chill cosmic showdown: a major square between Jupiter in Libra and Pluto in Capricorn (your earth sister, making these vibes a bit stronger for you). We’ve seen this aspect a couple times before this year, but this marks the last one, and it’s a real doozy. Lemme break it down: Jupiter wants us to expand, grow, and seek, and Libra is about justice, morality, and interconnectedness. The energy of Pluto is intense, driven, not averse to deceit–and it’s in Capricorn, which is about success, money, and work. FUCKING YIKES. These two butting heads is gonna throw some crazy Game of Thrones shit into the mix, especially where the job is concerned; keep an eye out for ruthless a-holes willing to do anything to get to the top, and for being one of those ruthless a-holes yourself. Take the high road in literally every situation that comes your way this month–cashier hands you a penny more than you’re owed? Hand that shit back, girl. Karma’s careening toward us with its angry ass gavel and it ain’t pretty. On the other hand, this aspect could give you a lift in the ‘ole risin’ to the top department, making wins at work that much easier. Just make sure you come correct with every single move you make–from personal to professional–and you’ll steer clear of the drama. On the 7th, we get another powerful hit from the Cosmos: a full moon lunar eclipse in Aquarius, which will land in your house of home. A lunar eclipse is about relationships, heightened emotions, revealing hidden things, and causing big upsets in order to restore balance. There’s an unpredictable energy with eclipses, and whether we’ll love or hate what they bring, there’s no way of knowing ahead of time. The house of home is a little tricky, too, because it can refer to your physical domicile or your internal landscape (you are your forever home, after all). Should this be about your pad, be on the look out for quick changes there: having to move suddenly or having an unexpected urge to move, finally landing a house you can afford to buy, a roommate leaving or arguments with roommates—these are all possibilities. If the issue is more about you than your living sitch, look for moments when you’re easily knocked off your center or, on the other hand, when you suddenly feel centered. This house is about stability, and we live in a time of high stress, anxiety, and burn out. What makes you feel unstable? Is it money? relationships? your work environment? And also—what makes you feel like you could take on anything? Being in nature? Sex? Bottomless mimosa brunch deals? Being honest about what strengthens you and what weakens you could def come up around this full moon eclipse, so keep an eye out there, boo. More fun stuff: August 12th brings our fave–Mercury retrograde! This one will be in Virgo most of the month–the sign that oversees Mercury (and your earth sister, making the effects a little stronger for you, Bull Babe). Your run-of-the-mill Merc. retrograde offerings will be on the table: electronic woes, communication breakdowns, travel hiccups, etc. Virgo’s influence will bring an extra emphasis on indecision, so don’t make any big decisions this month, and def don’t sign any contracts. Virgo can be nit-picky and emotionally aloof, so keep an eye out for conflicts around that. On the upside, Virgo’s also got that boss bitch vibe going–great for having high standards, strong boundaries, and killer organizational skills, and this retrograde could have you re-examining ways to improve in these areas, ultimately making some shifts for the better. On August 21, we’re visited by a new moon solar eclipse in Leo (a total eclipse, so get those funky glasses, or whatever, so you can watch it all go down). The sun, moon, and Mars will all be in Leo on this day, paving the way for both huge self-aggrandizing successes (fame, wealth, praise, etc.) and gnarly conflicts (even violence, since Mars is the planet of war). Basically, it’s major and will bring big time shake-ups and rapid changes. Don’t be surprised if, much like the lunar eclipse, you become privy to super important information you weren’t previously aware of. Beyond that, a really great way to harness this aspect is to make a list of all the things you want to bring into your life–this is an “out with the old, in with the new” energy, so milk it for all it’s worth by really putting the focus on what you would love to manifest in your near future. In bae related news, Venus in Cancer is transiting your house of friends and aspirations. A more literal interpretation of this match up would be that, if you’re looking for love, you should have friends set you up or hang out in social circles (professional and political organizations totes count, and honestly, what could be hotter than meeting the love of your life at a Planned Parenthood district meeting?). But there’s another possibility here. This house is ruled by Aquarius, the cosmos’ intellectual free spirit. Whether you’re involved or not, this energy is about a desire for intellectual stimulation in love, a tendency toward feeling claustrophobic in relationships, and a need for zero drama and lots of space. You might also find yourself attracted to eccentric types this month (Aquarians are famous for marching to the beat of their own drum). Bottom line: look for ways to express your independence and individuality in love this month, whether you’re attached or not. On that note, we get a real shake up on the 24th when Venus in Cancer squares Uranus in Aries. Uranus is ruled by Aquarius, so you may feel those same vibes around this day, although all kinds of drama could be coming with this aspect. In its best form, it brings experimentation in the bedroom: S&M, or like, threesomes (it’s a choose-your-own-adventure, which I’ve no doubt you’ll indulge in to the fullest, Taurus). In its worst form, this aspect brings cheating and other lame forms of fuckboi-dom (NOT into it). Like I mentioned before, you single gals may find a sudden and inexplicable attraction to eccentric types, but also potentially to bad boys/girls (YAS GET IT). The month ends with a placement that encourages talking, writing, and getting ideas across: Sun in Virgo conjunct Mercury in Virgo on the 26th. Because you share that earth element with Virgo, the vibes will be a bit stronger for you, so anything in the publishing, IRL interaction, and general mouth-using arenas will be big wins for you around this day. Word.

Hey Gem! You start the month out in a supes powerful house: the house of friends and aspirations. It’s ruled by Aquarius, a sign preoccupied with the collective well-being, success for the whole, and innovative, forward motion. When you find yourself in this house, it can be about your friends and social circles coming to your aid to lift you higher, but it can also be about you investing in those circles to see them succeed. Incidentally, this energy will be fueled by the powerful Leo sun; Leo loves praise, attention, and success, so it’s a v auspicious combo. Your social circles may create opps for you to shine in the spotlight, or, alternately, the work you do for groups you belong to (political, professional, social, etc.) might throw you into the limelight. Soak it up because on the 4th, we get a v intense, v not chill cosmic showdown: a major square between Pluto in Capricorn and Jupiter in Libra (your air sister, making these vibes a bit stronger for you). We’ve seen this aspect a couple times before this year, but this marks the last one, and it’s a real doozy. Lemme break it down: Jupiter wants us to expand, grow, and seek, and Libra is about justice, morality, and interconnectedness. The energy of Pluto is intense, driven, not averse to deceit–and it’s in Capricorn, which is about success, money, and work. FUCKING YIKES. These two butting heads is gonna throw some crazy Game of Thrones shit into the mix, especially where the job is concerned; keep an eye out for ruthless a-holes willing to do anything to get to the top, and for being one of those ruthless a-holes yourself. Take the high road in literally every situation that comes your way this month–cashier hands you a penny more than you’re owed? Hand that shit back, girl. Karma’s careening toward us with its angry ass gavel and it ain’t pretty. On the other hand, this aspect could give you a lift in the ‘ole risin’ to the top department, making wins at work that much easier. Just make sure you come correct with every single move you make–from personal to professional–and you’ll (maybe hopefully) steer clear of the drama. On the 7th, we get another powerful hit from the Cosmos: a full moon lunar eclipse in Aquarius, landing in your 5th house of play and children. A lunar eclipse is about relationships, heightened emotions, revealing hidden things, and causing big upsets in order to restore balance. There’s an unpredictable energy with eclipses, and whether we’ll love or hate what they bring, there’s no way of knowing ahead of time. This house is about your inner child; it wants to feel carefree, untethered, and creative. If anything is preventing you from feeling that way in your life, it will most likely come to a head during this full moon. On the other hand, if you’ve been frolicking like a boss at the expense of your responsibilities, that could also bite you in the ass around this time. One last possibility is the issue of children. This house LOVES children, so if you’re trying to get pregnant, this is a great time to give it a go. Howevs, to you Gems not trying, verily I say unto you: wrap. it. up. girl. Wrap that shit on up. Seriously. Wrap it. More fun stuff: August 12th brings our fave–Mercury retrograde! This one will be in Virgo most of the month–the sign that oversees Mercury. Your run-of-the-mill Merc. retrograde offerings will be on the table: electronic woes, communication breakdowns, travel hiccups, etc. Virgo’s influence will bring an extra emphasis on indecision, so don’t make any big decisions this month, and def don’t sign any contracts. Virgo can be nit-picky and emotionally aloof, so keep an eye out for conflicts around that. On the upside, Virgo’s also got that boss bitch vibe going–great for having high standards, strong boundaries, and killer organizational skills, and this retrograde could have you re-examining ways to improve in these areas, ultimately making some shifts for the better. In terms of boos, Venus is hanging out in your meditative 12th house of the subconscious. This house is ruled by Pisces, which carries sort of a lovelorn, puppy dog energy. It’s the literal worst with boundaries and tends to give too much in relationships, seeking validation. On the other hand, Pisces can be loyal, extremely romantic, and generous when it comes to matters of the heart. Obviously idk specifically what’s up with your love life this month, but what I can tell you is that the 12th house initiates Pisces’ murkiness, confusion, and deep feelings of longing. If this fog o’ feels descends upon you, the best thing to do is meditate. Meditation is sort of a cure-all anyway, but especially when Pisces energy comes in with its octopus emotion storm, the best thing to do is ground yourself with a serious meditation sesh. Speaking of Venus, the 17th brings us a super fun aspect: Venus in Cancer square Jupiter in Libra (your air sister, aka stronger vibes for ya). It lends itself to indulgence and a carefree joie de vivre, which is awesome *unless* you need to get shit done. To really make this day awesome, get all your homework turned in ahead of time, know what I mean? This is a day to call in sick and hang out with your crew—just make sure there are no loose ends to be tied before you get your hookie on. On August 21, we’re visited by a new moon solar eclipse in Leo (a total eclipse, so get those funky glasses, or whatever, so you can watch it all go down). The sun, moon, and Mars will all be in Leo on this day, paving the way for both huge self-aggrandizing successes (fame, wealth, praise, etc.) and gnarly conflicts (even violence, since Mars is the planet of war). Basically, it’s major and will bring big time shake-ups and rapid changes. Don’t be surprised if, much like the lunar eclipse, you become privy to super important information you weren’t previously aware of. Beyond that, a really great way to harness this aspect is to make a list of all the things you want to bring into your life–this is an “out with the old, in with the new” energy, so milk it for all it’s worth by really putting the focus on what you would love to manifest in your near future (per usual, happy to help you brainstorm a v killer list, Gem).

Hey Crab Babe! You’re transiting a v contemplative house this month—the house of the subconscious. It’s ruled by your water sister, deeply sensitive and empathic Pisces, and has been dubbed “the house of hidden things” by astrologers throughout the years. This last part is particularly interesting because it points to things both hidden from you and (plot twist) BY you. And not just in the physical world either—this house can point to places in your life where you’d prefer to keep your head in the sand, rather than have some real talk with yourself about the truth of the situation. The really cray thing about this lineup for you is that it’s being filtered through the Sun in Leo—a sign that’s basically like a massive bull tap dancing through Time Square, aka NOT hidden. What does that mean? Well, it could go a few directions, but since we’re neck deep in eclipse season this month (more on that later), I’d say you’re going to find out about some things you weren’t aware of in a powerful, Leo-fueled, totally not subtle way. Beyond that, this house also embodies the collective unconscious; it works with archetypes, symbols, and dreams. Leo loves attention and fun, so to fuse the two, I recommend devoting some time to deciphering those hidden puzzles and bringing them into the light. Tap into what archetypes or animal guides are speaking to you right now, and draw them, collage them, or write stories about them (v Jungian, always a crowd-pleaser). Then put your work where you can see it every day; this will allow their messages to move from your subconscious to your conscious, which is ultimately the goal. And as always, meditate like a gd boss. The 12th house loves a good meditation sesh. On the 4th, we get a v intense, v not chill cosmic showdown: a major square between Pluto in Capricorn and Jupiter in Libra. We’ve seen this aspect a couple times before this year, but this marks the last one, and it’s a real doozy. Lemme break it down: Jupiter wants us to expand, grow, and seek, and Libra is about justice, morality, and interconnectedness. The energy of Pluto is intense, driven, not averse to deceit–and it’s in Capricorn, which is about success, money, and work. FUCKING YIKES. These two butting heads is gonna throw some crazy Game of Thrones shit into the mix, especially where the job is concerned; keep an eye out for ruthless a-holes willing to do anything to get to the top, and for being one of those ruthless a-holes yourself. Take the high road in literally every situation that comes your way this month–cashier hands you a penny more than you’re owed? Hand that shit back, girl. Karma’s careening toward us with its angry ass gavel and it ain’t pretty. On the other hand, this aspect could give you a lift in the ‘ole risin’ to the top department, making wins at work that much easier. Just make sure you come correct with every single move you make–from personal to professional–and you’ll (maybe hopefully) steer clear of the drama. On the 7th, we get another powerful hit from the Cosmos: a full moon lunar eclipse in Aquarius, which will land in your house of work. A lunar eclipse is about relationships, heightened emotions, revealing hidden things, and causing big upsets in order to restore balance. There’s an unpredictable energy with eclipses, and whether we’ll love or hate what they bring, there’s no way of knowing ahead of time. Since this will all be going down in your house of work, and since Aquarius, the sign overseeing all this business, is primarily interested in groups of people (as opposed to the individual), I’d say keep an eye out for office drama—anything from shitty clique behavior, to chats with HR (they’re kind of a group), to layoffs. On the other hand, the quick changes you see might be awesome—department promotions and raises, or like, being on the winning team of the company trivia game (tryna get that gift card). More fun stuff: August 12th brings our fave–Mercury retrograde! This one will be in Virgo most of the month–the sign that oversees Mercury. Your run-of-the-mill Merc. retrograde offerings will be on the table: electronic woes, communication breakdowns, travel hiccups, etc. Virgo’s influence will bring an extra emphasis on indecision, so don’t make any big decisions this month, and def don’t sign any contracts. Virgo can be nit-picky and emotionally aloof, so keep an eye out for conflicts around that. On the upside, Virgo’s also got that boss bitch vibe going–great for having high standards, strong boundaries, and killer organizational skills, and this retrograde could have you re-examining ways to improve in these areas, ultimately making some shifts for the better. In terms of bae, Venus is sliding right into home base, baby girl. That’s right, Venus is in Cancer all the way till the 26th. What does this mean for you? If you’re looking for love, this is a really good time to do things on your terms. Sometimes we have to stretch to satisfy cosmic whims, but this is not one of those times for you, Water Mama. Not just that, but other signs will have to stretch to meet you where you are, so feel free to make some demands in the love department (we recommend this, this, and these babies right here.). Whether you’re searching for your special boo or already in a relash, working your magic in ways that feel in total and complete alignment with your nature will bring you the best outcome this month. Speaking of Venus in Cancer, the 17th brings us another fun aspect: Jupiter in Libra square Venus in Cancer (that’s all you, gurl). It lends itself to indulgence and a carefree joie de vivre, which is awesome *unless* you need to get shit done. To really make this day awesome, get all your homework turned in ahead of time, know what I mean? This is a day to call in sick and hang out with your crew—just make sure there are no loose ends to be tied before you get your hookie on. On August 21, we’re visited by a new moon solar eclipse in Leo (a total eclipse, so get those funky glasses, or whatever, so you can watch it all go down). The sun, moon, and Mars will all be in Leo on this day, paving the way for both huge self-aggrandizing successes (fame, wealth, praise, etc.) and gnarly conflicts (even violence, since Mars is the planet of war). Basically, it’s major and will bring big time shake-ups and rapid changes. Don’t be surprised if, much like the lunar eclipse, you become privy to super important information you weren’t previously aware of—especially since you’ll be in the house of the subconscious. Beyond that, a really great way to harness this aspect is to make a list of all the things you want to bring into your life–this is an “out with the old, in with the new” energy, so milk it for all it’s worth by really putting the focus on what you would love to manifest in your near future. Speaking of Venus, we get a real shake up on the 24th when Venus in Cancer (you again!) squares Uranus in Aries. All kinds of drama could be coming with this aspect. In its best form, it brings experimentation in the bedroom: S&M, or like, threesomes (it’s a choose-your-own-adventure, so use your imagination, Cancer). In its worst form, this aspect brings cheating and other lame forms of fuckboi-dom (NOT into it). For you single gals, you may find a sudden and inexplicable attraction to eccentric types and/or bad boys/girls. Don’t resist the urges–oppressing your sexuality around this time will only make you want to punch someone in the face. Just wrap that shit up so you won’t have any regrets later down the road (all hail inventors of latex).