September ’17 Horoscope

 Mercury retrograde left a trail of hot mess for you to deal with? This Virgo Sun is coming in behind to whip shit into shape, and supreme space witch Remy Ramirez is dishin’ the deets.

Straight from the center of the Nasty Galaxy, supreme space witch, Remy Ramirez, is spillin’ the secrets of the cosmos…

Hey hey Virgo! A very merry birthday to you! You’re having a WILD month to welcome you into your next transit around the sun, so let’s get started. First up: you’re circling the house of identity most of the month, so as you think about what you want to manifest in this coming year, consider reveling in your Virgo-ness. Yours is a sign of practicality, service, and love of earthly pleasures (gardening, biking, and hiking are some of your faves). Take those tendencies to the Nth degree this month—create an alphabetically-arranged garden, organize the tools in your tool shed by size, or like, throw a bike race fundraiser for a women’s shelter. Just do you, Virgo, but bigger, better, and unapologetically. You’re not one to make a big show, but let that Virgo light shine bright this month to maximize the benefits of the Universe. Just maybe not so much on the 3rd, when we get a conjunction between Mercury and Mars in Leo, which is v powerful and requires v conscientious navigation skills. Leo on a good day is super passionate; on a bad: volatile af. This pair up is great for arguing a point, thinking on the fly, and coming up with a killer brainstorm—HOWEVS, it can also lead to temper flare ups, aggression, and srs hostility. Any touchy subjects that need discussing can wait—this is definitely not the day. As an earth sign, you don’t have a direct role in this fire extravaganza, but it’s a pretty intense cosmic moment, so we’ll all feel the heat to some extent. On the 5th, we get to take a collective and massive sigh of relief (the most massive) when Mercury in Leo un-retrogrades itself, like a good planet, and stations direct. EF YES SO GOOD ALL THE HEART EYES. You may feel some retrograde hangover effects the week following, but life will def mellow out after the 5th. More good news on the 5th: Mars will enter Virgo on this day, giving you a HUGE push to make shit happen. Mars is the sign of action and war, but it will be super tempered in practical, disciplined Virgo—good news for you. Any projects or back burner situations, now’s the time to get ‘em done using that orderly, strategic planning you earth signs are known for. You’ll have this heavy hitter on your side all the way till October 22, so carpe that m-effing diem, Virgo. On the 6th, a full moon in dreamy, sensitive Pisces lights up your house of partnerships. The moon rules emotions and emotional needs, and Pisces’ energy errs on the side of needy. Keep an eye out for that neediness comin’ atcha or comin’ outta ya in your partnerships—from personal to professional. There’s a v real danger of codependency, and you’ll need to keep your wits about you to avoid an unhealthy situation. On the other hand, Pisces (in its healthiest version) is *V* romantic and giving—if you feel a candlelight dinner comin’ on, don’t fight the urge, Earth Babe. You’re not one to get froo froo in the love department, but a little Enya-and-wine bath with bae never hurt anybody. On the 9th, you get a sweet push from the Cosmos when Mercury enters Virgo and hangs out there all the way till the 29th. Mercury is all about mental agility, so you may notice an uptick in your ability to brainstorm ideas and think on the fly. Beyond that, you practical Virgos love applying clear, linear strategy to challenges, and with Mercury in your corner, doing exactly that this month is the best way to come at any and all issues. On the 9th, the stars deliver a FIRE package right to your doorstep: Sun in Virgo trine Pluto in Cap. Honestly, this shit is so tite; it gives you lots of power to make positive changes in your life, helps you win over higher ups, and ushers you in for leadership roles at work. It’s a damn good one to have in your cosmic artillery, so make the most of it by scheduling any and all work meetings on this day (especially if you’re looking for a promotion). As far as boos are concerned, Venus in Leo is hitting up your house of possessions. A couple things here: Leo LOVES to give; it’ll splurge on bae like no other. That energy teamed up with this house looks to me like you might spend the month spoiling your better half or wining and dining those Tinder matches. (The reverse could also be true: you spend the month being spoiled by bae or going on some classy af Tinder dates.) The other possibility: Part of Leo’s shadow side is the need for constant attention, and the house of possessions can sometimes translate to possessiveness. Since that full moon in Pisces is already setting you up for a codependence situation, I’d be super careful around being the object of someone’s neediness, or of getting too needy yourself. It’s never a good look, girlfriend, and it’s never the gateway to a healthy relash, so keep that in mind. Speaking of Venus, we get some killer love vibes on the 12th when Saturn in Sagittarius trines Venus in Leo. This is bomb for finding the literal love of your life (I know that sounds like hyperbole but it’s legit), and for other cool shit, too, like working out complicated boo/bestie-related issues, and like, shopping for cute stuff (not a joke, the Cosmos are pro-spree on this one, and needless to say, so are we). Line up dates and tough “we can get through this” talks on this day, bb. Get the good feels while you can, because on the 13th you’re all up in a pretty shitty aspect, Sun in Virgo square Saturn in Sagittarius. It’s kinda the worst: rude ‘tudes from bosses/parental figures, pessimism, and just a general sense that the Universe is rejecting you, like, as a person. The good news is it’s only for a day, so mentally prep, and def don’t set up any important meetings or talks till after the 14th, just to be safe. On the 19th, sultry Venus moves into Virgo (yes you), so get ready to flirt and catch glances from the 19th through most of October (more on that next month). On the 20th, a new moon in Virgo will bring an influx of potent, Virgo-related messages around healing. Virgo has powerful nursing capabilities, and the moon is the most nurturing placement of the zodiac. This pairing could bring up the theme of healing others at your own expense, how a lack of self-care leaves you weakened and/or resentful. It might also revisit old emotional wounds, asking you to readdress their care (‘bout that therapy life). Not gonna lie: this shit is no fun. But if you rise to the challenge, look it in the face, and do whatever you can to heal it—aka adult hardcore—the rewards will FAR outweigh the momentary discomfort; you’ll be able to start fresh and usher in clean, vibrant energy, rather than attracting energy aligned with the old wound. Because this new moon is in your sign, this is a personalized note to you from the cosmos, so don’t turn away: handle that shit like a boss. We end the month with a major planetary aspect: Jupiter opposite Uranus. This is like a cosmic fist pump that comes three times a year every 14 years. The 27th marks the last of the triad, so get in on the vibes while you can. Uranus is the planet of freedom and revolution, and Jupiter is like the super sizer of the cosmos—it aggrandizes everything it touches. They’ll be sitting on the Aries/Libra axis, which is about relationships, so expect some shake-ups in your relationship and partnership sector. If you’re lookin’ for love, you could see a rapid magnetic draw with a srs prospect, or if you’re totes monogs, things could move to the next level at turbo speed. This aspect is v progressive, so we’ll also likely see a big shift toward social freedom on a larger, political level (I know you’re thinking what I’m thinking, so let’s just all do some visualizing leading up to this date, shall we?). You might also just feel general “rebel rebel” vibes—issues around individuality vs. fitting in are def part of the energy. The goal with this placement is to scrap what hasn’t been working and start fresh. You’re not so much the let loose type, Virgo, you’re more the “out of my cold, dead hands” type. But word to the wise on this one: letting go isn’t just better for you now, it’s inevitable. So enjoy it, Earth Babe—the surprises might just surprise you with how much fun they can be.

Hey hey Libra Babe! You start the month out circling the house of possessions and wealth, ever reminding us that girls just wanna have fund$, amirite?? This house brings a focus to your accounts and all the splurging you love to treat yourself to. With Virgo’s influence, you may find yourself getting v srs about your budget, or worrying more about money than usual. To get some wins in this department, stay thrifty and pay attention to the details. Watching your spending (and/or investments, loans, etc.) like a hawk will align with Virgo’s energy and keep the abundance flowin’. On the 3rd, we get a conjunction between Mercury and Mars in fiery Leo, which is v powerful and requires v conscientious navigation skills. Leo on a good day is super passionate; on a bad: volatile af. This pair up is great for arguing a point, thinking on the fly, and coming up with a killer brainstorm—HOWEVS, it can also lead to temper flare ups, aggression, and srs hostility. Any touchy subjects that need discussing can wait—this is definitely not the day. As an air sign, you don’t have a direct role in this fire extravaganza, but it’s a pretty intense cosmic moment, so we’ll all feel the heat. On the 5th, we get to take a collective and massive sigh of relief (like, the most massive) when Mercury in Leo un-retrogrades itself, like a good planet, and stations direct. EF YES SO GOOD ALL THE HEART EYES. You may feel some retrograde hangover effects for the week following, but life will def mellow out after the 5th. On the 6th, a full moon in Pisces lights up your house of inner transformation and emotional depth. DANG BOO. This one’s powerful. Pisces can get lost in emotions, and this house in particular focuses on how you process difficult stuff (it’s ruled by Scorpio, a sign that doesn’t shy away from emotional tumult). Expect big feels around this day, and maybe even the sense that it’s too much at once. That’s the bad news. The good news is that this house is sort of like a compost pile—it takes the painful muck and turns it into rich, nutritive soil so you can grow a bangin’ garden. Focus on emotional resilience—the things you do that make you even more badass in the face of adversity—that’s how you’ll make this placement a win for you. On the 9th, the stars deliver a FIRE package: Sun in Virgo trine Pluto in Cap. Honestly, this shit is so tite; it gives you lots of power to make positive changes in your life, helps you win over higher ups, and ushers you in for leadership roles at work. It’s a damn good one to have in your cosmic artillery, so make the most of it by scheduling any and all work meetings on this day (especially if you’re looking for a promotion). You don’t have a direct role in this one, but it’s powerful enough that we’ll all get a piece of the good vibes. As far as the love dept. is concerned, Venus in flirty Leo is cuddling up to your house of communication—so hawt. Leo doesn’t have a subtle bone in its cosmic lioness body, and the third house is all things loud and proud, but like, mostly just loud. This combo is asking you to get out there and be bold in claiming what you want: who you want, when you want them, and what position you want them in. No doubt you refined Libras will smooth out any rough edges when it comes to talking the talk—and that’s fine—as long as you indulge this opportunity to go big with asking for what you want. (You can practice with this, that little number, and this cutie, too. You’re welcome.) Speaking of Venus, we get some killer love vibes on the 12th when Saturn in Sagittarius trines Venus in Leo. This is bomb for finding the literal love of your life (I know that sounds like hyperbole but it’s actually legit), and for other cool shit, too, like working out relash issues, and like, shopping for cute stuff (not a joke, the Cosmos are pro-spree on this one, and needless to say, so are we). Line up dates and tough “we can get through this” talks on this day, bb. Get the good feels while you can, because on the 13th we get hit with a pretty shitty aspect: Sun in Virgo square Saturn in Sagittarius. It’s kinda the worst: rude ‘tudes from bosses/parental figures, pessimism, and just a general sense that the Universe is rejecting you, like, as a person. The good news is it’s only for a day, so mentally prep, and def don’t set up any important meetings or talks till after the 14th, just to be safe. On the 20th, a new moon in Virgo will bring an influx of potent, Virgo-related messages around healing. Virgo has powerful nursing capabilities, and the moon is the most nurturing placement of the zodiac. This pairing could bring up the theme of healing others at your own expense, how a lack of self-care leaves you weakened and/or resentful. It might also revisit old emotional wounds, asking you to readdress their care (‘bout that therapy life). Not gonna lie: this shit is no fun. But if you rise to the challenge, look it in the face, and do whatever you can to heal it—aka adult hardcore—the rewards will FAR outweigh the momentary discomfort; you’ll be able to start fresh and usher in clean, vibrant energy, rather than attracting energy aligned with wounds. On the 22nd, the Sun moves into Libra, giving you literal LIFE (but like in a cosmic way). Having the sun in your corner is like a B-6 shot from the Cosmos, so get ready to get your pep on toward the end of the month as you enter your birthday phase. We end Sept. with a major planetary aspect: Jupiter in Libra (you!) opposite Uranus in Aries. This is like a cosmic fist pump that comes three times a year every 14 years. The 27th marks the last of the triad, and it’s got your name all over it, sister, so get in on the vibes while you can. Uranus is the planet of freedom and revolution, and Jupiter is like the super sizer of the cosmos—it aggrandizes everything it touches. They’ll be sitting on the Aries/Libra axis (you again!), which is about relationships, so expect some shake-ups in your relationship and partnership sector. If you’re lookin’ for love, you could see a rapid magnetic draw with a srs prospect, or if you’re totes monogs, things could move to the next level at turbo speed. This aspect is v progressive, so we’ll also likely see a big shift toward social freedom on a larger, political level (I know you’re thinking what I’m thinking, so let’s just all do some visualizing leading up to this date, shall we?). You might also feel general “rebel rebel” vibes—issues around individuality vs. fitting in are def part of the energy. The goal with this placement is to scrap what hasn’t been working and start fresh. As an air sign, you’re great with this kind of thing; change is exciting and fun for you, so take that joie de vivre and run with it, Libra. It’s a treasure trove of cosmic goodies, yours for the splurging.

Hey all you Scorpion Babes! You kick off September in the house of communication under Virgo’s earthy influence. This could create some issues for you: things like self-doubt or feeling overly critical of yourself and others might work their way into how you show up in conversations/presentation-giving/networking this month. That’s the downside; the upside is that this influence is great for working out issues using logic and reason. To do this, stay woke when it comes to your communication style; resorting to emotional pleas won’t work in your favor rn. You’ll find powers of persuasion in clarity, details, and linear analysis. On the 3rd, we get a conjunction between Mercury and Mars in Leo, which is v powerful and requires v conscientious navigation skills. Leo on a good day is super passionate; on a bad: volatile af. This pair up is great for arguing a point, thinking on the fly, and coming up with a killer brainstorm—HOWEVS, it can also lead to temper flare ups, aggression, and srs hostility. Any touchy subjects that need discussing can wait—this is definitely not the day. As a water sign, you don’t have a direct role in this fire extravaganza, but it’s a pretty intense cosmic moment, so we’ll all feel the heat. On the 5th, we get to take a collective and massive sigh of relief (like, the most massive) when Mercury in Leo un-retrogrades itself, like a good planet, and stations direct. EF YES SO GOOD ALL THE HEART EYES. You may feel some retrograde hangover effects for the week following, but life will def mellow out after the 5th. On the 6th, a full moon in Pisces lights up your house of higher learning, travel, and expanding horizons. Pisces is a spiritual, emotional, and creative sign, so heads up that you may be taking some kind of sentimental pilgrimage, whether literal or figurative, magnifying your spiritual awareness (BYOAyahuasca), or learning how to art/art better. It’s sort of a sacred moment in your chart, so tap into what the 2.0 version of yourself wants for herself emotionally, spiritually, and creatively, and allow the Universe to maneuver those moon beams in your favor. (And if you need a kewt lewk for said travels, we got a few of those.) On the 9th, the stars deliver a FIRE package: Sun in Virgo trine Pluto in Cap. Honestly, this shit is so tite; it gives you lots of power to make positive changes in your life, helps you win over higher ups, and ushers you in for leadership roles at work. It’s a damn good one to have in your cosmic artillery, so make the most of it by scheduling any and all work meetings on this day (especially if you’re looking for a promotion). You don’t have a direct role in this one, but it’s powerful enough that we’ll all get a piece of the good vibes. In the bae department, Venus in Leo is snuggling up to your house of home and foundations. This is such a good combo for you, Mama. The energy of the fourth house is loyal, committed, and earnest, and will be fortified by Leo’s intense loyalty, ardent commitment, and big-heartedness. You Scorps are known for being smokin’ hot sex pots (*flips hair*), but less known is your profound desire for intimacy and connection. Scorpios are incredibly loyal in love, and having Venus in the house of foundations is a supes grounding placement that will help attract the kind of perma-boo situation you’re looking for. If you’ve already landed your perma-boo, this house is asking for the two of you to focus on building your foundation from the ground up. This could be literally (getting a place together or improving the place that you share), or figuratively: couples counseling, routine date nights, or scheduled emotional check-ins to make sure you’re both communicating and on the same page. Speaking of Venus, we get some killer love vibes on the 12th when Saturn in Sagittarius trines Venus in Leo. This is bomb for finding the literal love of your life (I know that sounds like hyperbole but it’s actually legit), and for other cool shit, too, like working out relash issues, and like, shopping for cute stuff (this is not a joke, the Cosmos are pro-spree on this one, and needless to say, so are we). Line up dates and tough “we can get through this” talks on this day, bb. Get the good feels while you can, because on the 13th we get hit with a pretty shitty aspect: Sun in Virgo square Saturn in Sagittarius. It’s kinda the worst: rude ‘tudes from bosses/parental figures, pessimism, and just a general sense that the Universe is rejecting you, like, as a person. The good news is it’s only for a day, so mentally prep, and def don’t set up any important meetings or talks till after the 14th, just to be safe. On the 20th, a new moon in Virgo will bring an influx of potent, Virgo-related messages around healing. Virgo has powerful nursing capabilities, and the moon is the most nurturing placement of the zodiac. This pairing could bring up the theme of healing others at your own expense, how a lack of self-care leaves you weakened and/or resentful. It might also revisit old emotional wounds, asking you to readdress their care (‘bout that therapy life). Not gonna lie: this shit is no fun. But if you rise to the challenge, look it in the face, and do whatever you can to heal it—aka adult hardcore—the rewards will FAR outweigh the momentary discomfort; you’ll be able to start fresh and usher in clean, vibrant energy, rather than attracting energy aligned with the wound. We end the month with a major planetary aspect: Jupiter in Libra opposite Uranus in Aries. This is like a cosmic fist pump that comes three times a year every 14 years. The 27th marks the last of the triad, so get in on the vibes while you can. Uranus is the planet of freedom and revolution, and Jupiter is like the super sizer of the cosmos—it aggrandizes everything it touches. They’ll be sitting on the Aries/Libra axis, which is about relationships, so expect some shake-ups in your relationship and partnership sector. If you’re lookin’ for love, you could see a rapid magnetic draw with a srs prospect, or if you’re totes monogs, things could move to the next level at turbo speed. This aspect is v progressive, so we’ll also likely see a big shift toward social freedom on a larger, political level (I know you’re thinking what I’m thinking, so let’s just all do some visualizing leading up to this date, shall we?). You might also feel general “rebel rebel” vibes—issues around individuality vs. fitting in are def part of the energy. The goal with this placement is to scrap what hasn’t been working and start fresh. With your intense fixation tendencies, this is not your forte, Scorp, but the time has come to walk away from the dead horse and get back in the saddle. It makes for a way better ride, trust me.

Hey there Fire Sister! You start out the month in the house of home and foundations under Virgo’s stabilizing, organized influence. This house can literally be about your digs, in which case you’ll probably find yourself purging your closet, alphabetizing your vinyl, scrubbing that weird goo out your refrigerator—generally getting Type A with your pad. If you’ve been looking for a place or moving around, this is a great influence for grounding and setting up shop, too. Beyond the physical realm, this house also rules your personal roots and what feels familiar and comfortable to you. With Virgo’s influence, it’s best to implement systems and routines for yourself. Itineraries, lists, chore charts, weekly cooking menus—these are all killer ways to build on Virgo’s vibes. Except for maybe on the 2nd, when we get a badass trine for you fire babes: Mars in Leo trine Uranus in Aries on the. It rewards risk-taking, freedom loving, and all things not-routine, so literally jump out of a plane, quit your shitty job, hand that cutie your number—whatever makes you feel good and liberated will get a fat, cosmic thumbs up on this day. Soak up the vibes because a conjunction between Mercury and Mars in Leo on the 3rd will be v powerful and require v conscientious navigation skills. Leo on a good day is super passionate; on a bad: volatile af. This pair up is great for arguing a point, thinking on the fly, and coming up with a killer brainstorm—HOWEVS, it can also lead to temper flare ups, aggression, and srs hostility. Any touchy subjects that need discussing can wait—this is definitely not the day. Because you’re Leo’s fire sister, you may feel the heat more than most signs, so heads up, boo. On the 5th, we get to take a collective and massive sigh of relief (like, the most massive) when Mercury in Leo un-retrogrades itself, like a good planet, and stations direct. EF YES SO GOOD ALL THE HEART EYES. You may feel some retrograde hangover effects for the week following, but life will def mellow out after the 5th. On the 6th, a full moon in Pisces lights up your house of career. This could have multiple effects: One, indecisive Pisces could leave you feeling super unsure of your career path. Two, you align yourself with a career that allows you to express yourself emotionally in a pubic arena (spotlight on the feels + gettin’ paid = YAS). Three, you take on work in the arts, in a spiritual realm, or with women/women-focused industries. I love everything about the last two, but if you end up with the first one, a great way to woo woo your way outta that is by surrounding yourself in yellow jasper—it’s a great stone for clarity. On the 9th, the stars deliver a FIRE package: Sun in Virgo trine Pluto in Cap. Honestly, this shit is so tite; it gives you lots of power to make positive changes in your life, helps you win over higher ups, and ushers you in for leadership roles at work. It’s a damn good one to have in your cosmic artillery, so make the most of it by scheduling any and all work meetings on this day (especially if you’re looking for a promotion). You don’t have a direct role in this one, but it’s powerful enough that we’ll all get a piece of the good vibes. In terms of boos, Venus in flirty, bombastic Leo is hitting up your house of play, pleasure, romance, and children. This is SUCH a fun house. It’s already great for eye batting and wild oat sowing, but with attention-grabbing Leo backing it, you’re basically on the sexy time warpath. This is killer for lovin’ and leavin’, not for lovin’ and lingerin’. If you want something more long term, best to wait till next month. If you’re already spoken for, this house is about letting all the heavy, serious stuff go between you and boo. Just have fun together right now—literally hit up jungle gyms, get high and watch Bob Ross, or like, take a spontaneous road trip. Infuse the vibes with lightheartedness—the Cosmos are v into it. Speaking of Venus, we get some killer love vibes on the 12th and you’re gonna get a direct hit: Saturn in Sagittarius trines Venus in Leo on this day, which is one day that defies your Venus transit to help you find the literal love of your life (I know that sounds like hyperbole but it’s actually legit), and for other cool shit, too, like working out relash issues, and like, shopping for cute stuff (this is not a joke, the Cosmos are pro-spree on this one, and needless to say, so are we). Line up dates and tough “we can get through this” talks on this day, bb. Get the good feels while you can, because on the 13th you’re all up in a pretty shitty aspect: Sun in Virgo square Saturn in Sagittarius. It’s kinda the worst: rude ‘tudes from bosses/parental figures, pessimism, and just a general sense that the Universe is rejecting you, like, as a person. The good news is it’s only for a day, so mentally prep, and def don’t set up any important meetings or talks till after the 14th, just to be safe. On the 20th, a new moon in Virgo will bring an influx of potent, Virgo-related messages around healing. Virgo has powerful nursing capabilities, and the moon is the most nurturing placement of the zodiac. This pairing could bring up the theme of healing others at your own expense, how a lack of self-care leaves you weakened and/or resentful. It might also revisit old emotional wounds, asking you to readdress their care (‘bout that therapy life). Not gonna lie: this shit is no fun. But if you rise to the challenge, look it in the face, and do whatever you can to heal it—aka adult hardcore—the rewards will FAR outweigh the momentary discomfort; you’ll be able to start fresh and usher in clean, vibrant energy, rather than attracting energy aligned with the wound. We end the month with a major planetary aspect: Jupiter opposite Uranus. This is like a cosmic fist pump that comes three times a year every 14 years. The 27th marks the last of the triad, so get in on the vibes while you can. Uranus is the planet of freedom and revolution, and Jupiter is like the super sizer of the cosmos—it aggrandizes everything it touches. They’ll be sitting on the Aries/Libra axis, which is about relationships, so expect some shake-ups in your relationship and partnership sector. If you’re lookin’ for love, you could see a rapid magnetic draw with a srs prospect, or if you’re totes monogs, things could move to the next level at turbo speed. This aspect is v progressive, so we’ll also likely see a big shift toward social freedom on a larger, political level (I know you’re thinking what I’m thinking, so let’s just all do some visualizing leading up to this date, shall we?). You might also feel general “rebel rebel” vibes—issues around individuality vs. fitting in are def part of the energy, too. The goal with this placement is to scrap what hasn’t been working and start fresh. Not only do you share Aries’ fire element, but Jupiter is your ruling planet, so you’re going to feel these vibes that much stronger. As one of the most adaptable signs in the zodiac, this rollercoaster ride is gonna be nothin’ but good times for you, Sag, so grab that cotton candy and get rollin’.

What’s up, Cap! You get the month moving with that Virgo Sun in your house of play, romance, and children. As a fellow earth sign, you can appreciate Virgo’s structured, earthy approach to this freedom-loving house. This placement wants you to have fun, but Virgo’s all, “Exnay on the ragers, let’s get our knitting/crafting/crossword puzzle on instead.” You’ll benefit from more subdued types of recreation, so don’t push yourself to go out or party. In romance, this cosmic combo is the most picky and critical, so keep that in mind when you wonder why you’ve only swiped left in like two weeks; for better or worse, it’s gonna be pretty hard to impress you in love this month. If you have kids, this aspect can make you feel especially critical of them, so take a deep breath and count to 10 when they throw your phone in the toilet just to see what happens—a patient approach is best (and you can always scream into pillows once they’re asleep). On the 3rd, we get a conjunction between Mercury and Mars in Leo, which is v powerful and requires v conscientious navigation skills. Leo on a good day is super passionate; on a bad: volatile af. This pair up is great for arguing a point, thinking on the fly, and coming up with a killer brainstorm—HOWEVS, it can also lead to temper flare ups, aggression, and srs hostility. Any touchy subjects that need discussing can wait—this is definitely not the day. As an earth sign, you don’t have a direct role in this fire extravaganza, but it’s a pretty intense cosmic moment, so we’ll all feel the heat to some extent. On the 5th, we get to take a collective and massive sigh of relief (like, the most massive) when Mercury in Leo un-retrogrades itself, like a good planet, and stations direct. EF YES SO GOOD ALL THE HEART EYES. You may feel some retrograde hangover effects for the week following, but life will def mellow out after the 5th. More good news on the 5th: Mars will enter Virgo on this day, giving you a HUGE push to make shit happen. Mars is the sign of action and war, but it will be super tempered in practical, disciplined Virgo—right up your alley. Any projects or back burner situations, now’s the time to get ‘em done using that orderly, strategic planning you earth signs are known for. You’ll have this heavy hitter on your side all the way till October 22, so carpe that m-effin’ diem, Cap. On the 6th, a full moon in Pisces lights up your house of dreams, friends, and crews. Altruistic Pisces may have you thinking big-picture about how you can create lasting social change. Pisces also has this magnetic attraction to the underdog, so you might instead find yourself “rescuing” a friend, or even being rescued by your crew. That’s all good stuff, but be careful about martyring yourself to a cause/person around this time. Healthy boundaries are key af to mastering the art of giving. On the 9th, you get a suhweet push from the Cosmos when Mercury enters Virgo, your earth sister, all the way till the 29th. Mercury is all about mental agility, so you may notice an uptick in your ability to brainstorm ideas and think on the fly. Beyond that, you practical Caps love applying clear, linear strategy to challenges, and with Mercury in your earth element, doing exactly that this month is the best way to come at any and all issues. On the 9th, the stars deliver a FIRE package right to your doorstep: Pluto in Cap (you!) trine Sun in Virgo. Honestly, this shit is so tite; it gives you lots of power to make positive changes in your life, helps you win over higher ups, and ushers you in for leadership roles at work. It’s a damn good one to have in your cosmic artillery, so make the most of it by scheduling any and all work meetings on this day (especially if you’re looking for a promotion). In the bae department, Venus in Leo is getting v srs with your house of work. This could manifest in several ways. Def be on the lookout for some office romance (and if you need a fire lewk to stoke that cross-cubicle tension, we suggest this, that baby, and this cutie right here). Venus rules the feminine, so you may actually find that it has nothing to do with cuties, but with taking on work that’s focused on women or in a woman-centric industry. It could just also have you rekindling a love affair with the work you do, or taking on a passion project you’re crazy about. Whatever the case, Leo’s fiery, passionate influence will have you feeling committed and compelled, so get it, gurl. Speaking of Venus, we get some killer love vibes on the 12th when Saturn in Sagittarius trines Venus in Leo. This is bomb for finding the literal love of your life (I know that sounds like hyperbole but it’s actually true), and for other cool shit, too, like working out tough relash issues, and like, shopping for cute stuff (this is not a joke, the Cosmos are pro-spree on this one, and needless to say, so are we). Line up dates and tough “we can get through this” talks on this day, bb. Line up dates and tough “we can get through this” talks on this day, bb. Get the good feels while you can, because on the 13th we get hit with a pretty shitty aspect: Sun in Virgo square Saturn in Sagittarius. It’s kinda the worst: rude ‘tudes from bosses/parental figures, pessimism, and just a general sense that the Universe is rejecting you, like, as a person. The good news is it’s only for a day, so mentally prep, and def don’t set up any important meetings or talks till after the 14th, just to be safe. You don’t play a direct role in this one, but since you share Virgo’s earth element, you may feel the pinch a little harder. On the 20th, a new moon in Virgo will bring an influx of potent, Virgo-related messages around healing. Virgo has powerful nursing capabilities, and the moon is the most nurturing placement of the zodiac. This pairing could bring up the theme of healing others at your own expense, how a lack of self-care leaves you weakened and/or resentful. It might also revisit old emotional wounds, asking you to readdress their care (‘bout that therapy life). Not gonna lie: this shit is no fun. But if you rise to the challenge, look it in the face, and do whatever you can to heal it—aka adult hardcore—the rewards will FAR outweigh the momentary discomfort; you’ll be able to start fresh and usher in clean, vibrant energy, rather than attracting energy aligned with the wound. Again, this is a love note for Virgo, but since you share her earth element, you may get a little more of this medicine than others in the zodiac. We end the month with a major planetary aspect: Jupiter opposite Uranus. This is like a cosmic fist pump that comes three times a year every 14 years. The 27th marks the last of the triad, so get in on the vibes while you can. Uranus is the planet of freedom and revolution, and Jupiter is like the super sizer of the cosmos—it aggrandizes everything it touches. They’ll be sitting on the Aries/Libra axis, which is about relationships, so expect some shake-ups in your relationship and partnership sector. If you’re lookin’ for love, you could see a rapid magnetic draw with a srs prospect, or if you’re totes monogs, things could move to the next level at turbo speed. This aspect is v progressive, so we’ll also likely see a big shift toward social freedom on a larger, political level (I know you’re thinking what I’m thinking, so let’s just all do some visualizing leading up to this date, shall we?). You might also just feel general “rebel rebel” vibes—issues around individuality vs. fitting in are def part of the energy. The goal with this placement is to scrap what hasn’t been working and start fresh. You’re not so much the let loose type, Cap, you’re more the “out of my cold, dead hands” type. But word to the wise on this one: letting go isn’t just better for you now, it’s inevitable. So enjoy it, Earth Babe—the surprises might just surprise you with how much fun they can be.

Hi hi, Air Sister! You start the month off in the house of work, overseen by diligent, detail-oriented Virgo. This is going to be a time when only work that engages you intellectually and/or analytically is going to be able to satisfy you. You need to feel useful with this aspect, and your mind needs to be engaged on the job; if it’s not, you might kinda lose it, bb. Virgo rules service, so you might even find yourself drawn to non-profit work or volunteering in your off-hours—all good things. On the 3rd, we get a conjunction between Mercury and Mars in Leo, which is v powerful and requires v conscientious navigation skills. Leo on a good day is super passionate; on a bad: volatile af. This pair up is great for arguing a point, thinking on the fly, and coming up with a killer brainstorm—HOWEVS, it can also lead to temper flare ups, aggression, and srs hostility. Any touchy subjects that need discussing can wait—this is definitely not the day. As an air sign, you don’t have a direct role in this fire extravaganza, but it’s a pretty intense cosmic moment, so we’ll all feel the heat. On the 5th, we get to take a collective and massive sigh of relief (like, the most massive) when Mercury in Leo un-retrogrades itself, like a good planet, and stations direct. EF YES SO GOOD ALL THE HEART EYES. You may feel some retrograde hangover effects for the week following, but life will def mellow out after the 5th. On the 6th, a full moon in Pisces lights up your house of intuition. Pisces rules this house, and the moon has a mega strong influence over intuition as well, so get ready for a direct line between your brain and your gut. Focus on the different ways your subconscious/The Universe might shoot you a line—dreams, meditation, serendipity—those are all great ways to get on the same page with higher vibes. The messages that come through right now are basically like a direct line between you and your highest good/purpose (NBD), so like, TRUST, ya feel me? On the 9th, the stars deliver a FIRE package: Sun in Virgo trine Pluto in Cap. Honestly, this shit is so tite; it gives you lots of power to make positive changes in your life, helps you win over higher ups, and ushers you in for leadership roles at work. It’s a damn good one to have in your cosmic artillery, so make the most of it by scheduling any and all work meetings on this day (especially if you’re looking for a promotion). You don’t have a direct role in this one, but it’s powerful enough that we’ll all get a piece of the good vibes. In boo land, Venus in Leo is hitting up your house of partnerships and marriage. If you’ve been trying to get your lock down on, this is a bomb time for commitment, or to find someone commitment-worthy. If you’re already monog with bae, this energy is about taking things to the next level, upping the ante, getting the most srs. With Leo fueling all these vibes, it’s a “go big or go home” kind of situation. Leo doesn’t have any time or patience for subtlety; it’s generous, open, and courageous, so take note, and exnay on beating around the bush or playing coy—the stars won’t reward that kind of wallflower behavior this month. (And if you need a confidence booster, we have more than a few of those.) Speaking of Venus, we get some killer love vibes on the 12th when Saturn in Sagittarius trines Venus in Leo. This is bomb for finding the literal love of your life (I know that sounds like hyperbole but it’s actually pretty legit), and for other cool shit, too, like working out tough relash issues, and like, shopping for cute stuff (this is not a joke, the Cosmos are pro-spree on this one, and needless to say, so are we). Line up dates and tough “we can get through this” talks on this day, bb. Get the good feels while you can, because on the 13th we get hit with a pretty shitty aspect: Sun in Virgo square Saturn in Sagittarius. It’s kinda the worst: rude ‘tudes from bosses/parental figures, pessimism, and just a general sense that the Universe is rejecting you, like, as a person. The good news is it’s only for a day, so mentally prep, and def don’t set up any important meetings or talks till after the 14th, just to be safe. On the 20th, a new moon in Virgo will bring an influx of potent, Virgo-related messages around healing. Virgo has powerful nursing capabilities, and the moon is the most nurturing placement of the zodiac. This pairing could bring up the theme of healing others at your own expense, how a lack of self-care leaves you weakened and/or resentful. It might also revisit old emotional wounds, asking you to readdress their care (‘bout that therapy life). Not gonna lie: this shit is no fun. But if you rise to the challenge, look it in the face, and do whatever you can to heal it—aka adult hardcore—the rewards will FAR outweigh the momentary discomfort; you’ll be able to start fresh and usher in clean, vibrant energy, rather than attracting energy aligned with old wounds. We end the month with a major planetary aspect: Jupiter in Libra opposite Uranus in Aries. This is like a cosmic fist pump that comes three times a year every 14 years. The 27th marks the last of the triad, and you play a special role in it, so get in on the vibes while you can. Uranus is the planet of freedom and revolution (and also happens to be your ruling planet), and Jupiter is like the super sizer of the cosmos—it aggrandizes everything it touches. They’ll be sitting on the Aries/Libra (your air sister) axis which is about relationships, so expect some shake-ups in your relationship and partnership sector. If you’re lookin’ for love, you could see a rapid magnetic draw with a srs prospect, or if you’re totes monogs, things could move to the next level at turbo speed. This aspect is v progressive, so we’ll also likely see a big shift toward social freedom on a larger, political level (I know you’re thinking what I’m thinking, so let’s just all do some visualizing leading up to this date, shall we?). You might also feel general “rebel rebel” vibes—issues around individuality vs. fitting in are def part of the energy. The goal with this placement is to scrap what hasn’t been working and start fresh, and this kind of thing is basically custom-made for you, Aquarius. No one loves ditching the past and moving into the future at warp speed quite like you do, so take this bull by the horns, air babe; it’s you af.

Hey Water Mama! You get the month going with the Sun in Virgo lighting up your house of partnerships. Virgo is stabilizing, organized, and practical. With this combo, you’ll be looking for and/or attracting partnerships (both romantic and professional) that make sense, and that have a grounding effect for you. You’ll want to do the math, calculate the pros and cons before making any decisions. This is actually a great time to team up because your mind will be working far more analytically than you slippery fishes are used to, and the results will be sound and well-reasoned. On the 3rd, we get a conjunction between Mercury and Mars in Leo, which is v powerful and requires v conscientious navigation skills. Leo on a good day is super passionate; on a bad: volatile af. This pair up is great for arguing a point, thinking on the fly, and coming up with a killer brainstorm—HOWEVS, it can also lead to temper flare ups, aggression, and srs hostility. Any touchy subjects that need discussing can wait—this is definitely not the day. As a water sign, you don’t have a direct role in this fire extravaganza, but it’s a pretty intense cosmic moment, so we’ll all feel the heat. On the 5th, we get to take a collective and massive sigh of relief (like, the most massive) when Mercury in Leo un-retrogrades itself, like a good planet, and stations direct. EF YES SO GOOD ALL THE HEART EYES. You may feel some retrograde hangover effects for the week following, but life will def mellow out after the 5th. On the 6th, a full moon in Pisces will bring out all your Pisces-ness. Expect a day of heightened creativity, empathetic connection, and spiritual attunement. It’s a time to go full throttle in doing you and reaping the benefits, so don’t hold back, Pisces. The more authentically and unapologetically you show up, the greater the rewards. On the 9th, the stars deliver a FIRE package: Sun in Virgo trine Pluto in Cap. Honestly, this shit is so tite; it gives you lots of power to make positive changes in your life, helps you win over higher ups, and ushers you in for leadership roles at work. It’s a damn good one to have in your cosmic artillery, so make the most of it by scheduling any and all work meetings on this day (especially if you’re looking for a promotion). You don’t have a direct role in this one, but it’s powerful enough that we’ll all get a piece of the good vibes. In terms of boos, Venus in Leo is hitting up your 8th house, which is LITERALLY the house of sex. And other things, too. But also sex (this obviously entitles you to a fire look, which we happen to have more than a few of). If you’re not having lots of smoldering, DM-worthy moments this month—which, again, you probably are—then you’ll be busying yourself with the other business this house oversees: inner transformation. Be on the lookout for major shifts in how love shows up in your life, how you treat it, and what it means to you. This house is a boss bitch—it means business, so the lessons will be major, and with bombastic Leo backing the vibes, you can expect even more intensity and dramatic changes. Speaking of Venus, we get some killer love vibes on the 12th when Saturn in Sagittarius trines Venus in Leo. This is bomb for finding the literal love of your life (I know that sounds like hyperbole but it’s actually legit), and for other cool shit, too, like working out relash issues, and like, shopping for cute stuff (this is not a joke, the Cosmos are pro-spree on this one, and needless to say, so are we). Line up dates and tough “we can get through this” talks on this day, bb. Get the good feels while you can, because on the 13th we get hit with a pretty shitty aspect: Sun in Virgo square Saturn in Sagittarius. It’s kinda the worst: rude ‘tudes from bosses/parental figures, pessimism, and just a general sense that the Universe is rejecting you, like, as a person. The good news is it’s only for a day, so mentally prep, and def don’t set up any important meetings or talks till after the 14th, just to be safe. On the 20th, a new moon in Virgo will bring an influx of potent, Virgo-related messages around healing. Virgo has powerful nursing capabilities, and the moon is the most nurturing placement of the zodiac. This pairing could bring up the theme of healing others at your own expense, how a lack of self-care leaves you weakened and/or resentful. It might also revisit old emotional wounds, asking you to readdress their care (‘bout that therapy life). Not gonna lie: this shit is no fun. But if you rise to the challenge, look it in the face, and do whatever you can to heal it—aka adult hardcore—the rewards will FAR outweigh the momentary discomfort; you’ll be able to start fresh and usher in clean, vibrant energy, rather than attracting energy aligned with the wound. We end the month with a major planetary aspect: Jupiter in Libra opposite Uranus in Aries. This is like a cosmic fist pump that comes three times a year every 14 years. The 27th marks the last of the triad, so get in on the vibes while you can. Uranus is the planet of freedom and revolution, and Jupiter is like the super sizer of the cosmos—it aggrandizes everything it touches. They’ll be sitting on the Aries/Libra axis, which is about relationships, so expect some shake-ups in your relationship and partnership sector. If you’re lookin’ for love, you could see a rapid magnetic draw with a srs prospect, or if you’re totes monogs, things could move to the next level at turbo speed. This aspect is v progressive, so we’ll also likely see a big shift toward social freedom on a larger, political level (I know you’re thinking what I’m thinking, so let’s just all do some visualizing leading up to this date, shall we?). You might also feel general “rebel rebel” vibes—issues around individuality vs. fitting in are def part of the energy. The goal with this placement is to scrap what hasn’t been working and start fresh. You have an impressive ability to stay stuck in the past, Pisces. It’s part of what makes you such a romantic—and that’s cool, but the time has come to walk away from the dead horse and get back in the saddle. It’ll make for a way better ride, trust me.

‘Sup Ram Babes! You kick off the month with that Virgo Sun transiting your house of other people’s money and inner transformations (I know, so weird that they’re part of the same house, but them’s the rules). Financially, this house covers loans, inheritances, joint accounts, debt, taxes—money that you didn’t earn on your own or that you have to hand over. Virgo’s organized, scrupulous influence will have you looking at all those numbers through a microscope and thinking twice before making any decisions, which is a great balancing influence to your impulsive nature, Aries. Those amped analytical vibes will also be applied to the kinds of transformations you experience rn. This house wants to see you evolve, and that could mean emotionally, intellectually, or even physically (health regimens, for example). Virgo will be all up in it for you, so whatever big shifts come up, you’ll want to apply structure to how you implement them; if it’s emotional, set up a routine with a therapist; if it’s health, get a gym schedule going, etc. Staying organized will work in your favor in a big way this month. The 2nd brings a killer trine for you fire babes: Mars in Leo trine Uranus in Aries on the 2nd. This is such a badass way to start off the month. It rewards risk-taking and freedom-loving actions on your part, so literally jump out of a plane, quit your shitty job, hand that cutie your number—whatever makes you feel good and liberated will get a fat, cosmic thumbs up on this day. Soak up the vibes because a conjunction between Mercury and Mars in Leo on the 3rd will be v powerful and require v conscientious navigation skills. Leo on a good day is super passionate; on a bad: volatile af. This pair up is great for arguing a point, thinking on the fly, and coming up with a killer brainstorm—HOWEVS, it can also lead to temper flare ups, aggression, and srs hostility. Any touchy subjects that need discussing can wait—this is definitely not the day. Because you’re Leo’s fire sister, you may feel the heat more than most signs, so heads up, boo. On the 5th, we get to take a collective and massive sigh of relief (like, the most massive) when Mercury in Leo un-retrogrades itself, like a good planet, and stations direct. EF YES SO GOOD ALL THE HEART EYES. You may feel some retrograde hangover effects for the week following, but life will def mellow out after the 5th. On the 6th, a full moon in Pisces lights up your house of money and possessions. Real talk, boo: this is a mixed bag. Pisces is pretty much terrible with money—it’s got its head in the clouds, not in QuickBooks. If you’ve been overspending, turning a blind eye to your budget, or leaving someone else (someone perhaps not so qualified) in charge of your finances, it’s about to catch up with you, girl. On the other hand, you could find yourself bringin’ in some cash flow via Pisces-related means: art, spirituality, the metaphysical, or helping others. YAY for this option, but if you should land in the former, a good way to witch your way through it is via citrine or jade—two killer crystals for attracting abundance and prosperity. (But also, like, ex-nay on the crazy sprees; that’ll help a ton). On the 9th, the stars deliver a FIRE package: Sun in Virgo trine Pluto in Cap. Honestly, this shit is so tite; it gives you lots of power to make positive changes in your life, helps you win over higher ups, and ushers you in for leadership roles at work. It’s a damn good one to have in your cosmic artillery, so make the most of it by scheduling any and all work meetings on this day (especially if you’re looking for a promotion). You don’t have a direct role in this one, but it’s powerful enough that we’ll all get a piece of the good vibes. In the love dept., Venus in Leo will be lighting up your house of big picture philosophy and expansive knowledge. You might find that pedestrian love bores you these days; you’re looking for something that broadens your horizons. Cuties from other cultures or backgrounds could be catching your eye right now, or whom you meet on adventures to unexplored spots. If you’re spoken for already, this energy is killer for exploring new territory with bae, so def take a romantic trip this month, even if it’s just a road trip to a town you can discover together (and don’t forget the super kewt look, er looks, to go with). Speaking of Venus, we get some killer love vibes on the 12th when your fire sisters join forces (giving you an extra dose of the good vibes. Saturn in Sagittarius trines Venus in Leo on that day, which is bomb for finding the literal love of your life (I know that sounds like hyperbole but it’s legit), and for other cool shit, too, like working out relash issues, and like, shopping for cute stuff (this is not a joke, the Cosmos are pro-spree on this day, so it’s basically, like, sacrilege not to shop). Line up dates and tough “we can get through this” talks on this day, bb. Get the good feels while you can, because on the 13th we get hit with a pretty shitty aspect: Sun in Virgo square Saturn in Sagittarius. It’s kinda the worst: rude ‘tudes from bosses/parental figures, pessimism, and just a general sense that the Universe is rejecting you, like, as a person. The good news is it’s only for a day, so mentally prep, and def don’t set up any important meetings or talks till after the 14th, just to be safe. You don’t play a direct role in this one, but since you share Sag’s fire element, you may feel the pinch a little harder. On the 20th, a new moon in Virgo will bring an influx of potent, Virgo-related messages around healing. Virgo has powerful nursing capabilities, and the moon is the most nurturing placement of the zodiac. This pairing could bring up the theme of healing others at your own expense, how a lack of self-care leaves you weakened and/or resentful. It might also revisit old emotional wounds, asking you to readdress their care (‘bout that therapy life). Not gonna lie: this shit is no fun. But if you rise to the challenge, look it in the face, and do whatever you can to heal it—aka adult hardcore—the rewards will FAR outweigh the momentary discomfort; you’ll be able to start fresh and usher in clean, vibrant energy, rather than attracting energy aligned with wounds. We end the month with a major planetary aspect: Jupiter in Libra opposite Uranus in Aries—that’s you! This is like a cosmic fist pump that comes three times a year every 14 years. The 27th marks the last of the triad, and it’s got your name all over it, sister, so get in on the vibes while you can. Uranus is the planet of freedom and revolution, and Jupiter is like the super sizer of the cosmos—it aggrandizes everything it touches. They’ll be sitting on the Libra/Aries axis (you again!), which is about relationships, so expect some shake-ups in your relationship and partnership sector. If you’re lookin’ for love, you could see a rapid magnetic draw with a srs prospect, or if you’re totes monogs, things could move to the next level at turbo speed. This aspect is v progressive, so we’ll also likely see a big shift toward social freedom on a larger, political level (I know you’re thinking what I’m thinking, so let’s just all do some visualizing leading up to this date, shall we?). You might also feel general “rebel rebel” vibes—issues around individuality vs. fitting in are def part of the energy. The goal with this placement is to scrap what hasn’t been working and start fresh. As one of the most freedom loving signs in all of the zodiac, this shit is right up your alley, babe. And since you play such a major role, get up, get out, and get some, Aries. This one’s major.

Hey Bull Babe! You enter the 9th month in the 9th house of philosophical expansion and foreign travel, overseen by structured, orderly Virgo. The 9th house wants you to think big, ask big questions, learn about new cultures and people, see the world, while Virgo wants you to stay focused, organized, and logical. You might find that you’re taking on belief systems that appeal to you rationally, or that you’re working to break down your understanding of the world into clear, concise parts. This house also oversees grad school and higher learning, so researching schools or being a student will benefit from some srs organizational skillz this month. If travel’s on the horizon, plan every detail out, makes check lists, and create itineraries. On the 3rd, we get a conjunction between Mercury and Mars, which is v powerful and requires v conscientious navigation skills. Leo on a good day is super passionate; on a bad: volatile af. This pair up is great for arguing a point, thinking on the fly, and coming up with a killer brainstorm—HOWEVS, it can also lead to temper flare ups, aggression, and srs hostility. Any touchy subjects that need discussing can wait—this is definitely not the day. As an earth sign, you don’t have a direct role in this fire extravaganza, but it’s a pretty intense cosmic moment, so we’ll all feel the heat to some extent. On the 5th, we get to take a collective and massive sigh of relief (like, the most massive) when Mercury in Leo un-retrogrades itself, like a good planet, and stations direct. EF YES SO GOOD ALL THE HEART EYES. You may feel some retrograde hangover effects for the week following, but life will def mellow out after the 5th. More good news on the 5th: Mars will enter Virgo on this day, giving you a HUGE push to make shit happen, since you share Virgo’s earth element. Mars is the sign of action and war, but it will be super tempered in even-keeled, steady Virgo—right up your alley. Any projects or back burner situations, now’s the time to get ‘em done using that orderly, strategic planning you earth signs are known for. You’ll have this heavy hitter on your side all the way till October 22, so carpe that m-effin’ diem, Taurus. On the 6th, a full moon in Pisces lights up your house of communication. Pisces isn’t a great communicator per se, but as a water sign, its capacity to interact with difficult emotions far surpasses most other signs. Whereas you earth babes are usually about that stiff upper lip, Pisces is all, “This shit is about to go down.” Having that intense emotive energy under the influence of a full moon in your communication sector says to me a talk with lots of feels is going to happen on or around this day. Though that maybe doesn’t sound like the best news, it’s great practice for you, Taurus. Pisces is yielding and malleable, while Taurus is… the bull. Allow yourself to soften enough for a vulnerable heart-to-heart—it’s not just necessary for this full moon, it’s a v important life lesson. On the 9th, you get a suhweet push from the Cosmos when Mercury moves into Virgo, your earth sister, and hangs out there all the way till the 29th. Mercury is all about mental agility, so you may notice an uptick in your ability to brainstorm ideas and think on the fly. Beyond that, you practical Bulls love applying logical, well-planned strategy to challenges, and with Mercury in your earth element, doing exactly that this month is the best way to come at any and all issues. On the 9th, the stars deliver a FIRE package: Sun in Virgo trine Pluto in Cap. Honestly, this shit is so tite; it gives you lots of power to make positive changes in your life, helps you win over higher ups, and ushers you in for leadership roles at work. It’s a damn good one to have in your cosmic artillery, so make the most of it by scheduling any and all work meetings on this day (especially if you’re looking for a promotion). You don’t have a direct role in this one, but since you share the earth element with both signs involved, you’ll get an extra dose of the good lovin’. Speaking of lovin’, Venus in attention-grabbing Leo is lighting up your house of career and fame. There’s always the possibility of a work romance with this placement, or of catching an admirer’s eye via professional means (and Insta means, too, since this house rules social celebrity). But more often than not, what I find in this house is a sudden push of professional success (and even more so with larger-than-life Leo in your corner). This combo is great for winning popularity contests, networking (especially with women), and being v charming in public (we have a couple looks that will totes help on that front, btw). It’s a time when the masses heart you hard, so get your primp on ‘cuz that close up is comin’ atcha. And while we’re on the topic of Venus, we get some killer love vibes on the 12th when Saturn in Sagittarius trines Venus in Leo. This is bomb for finding the literal love of your life (I know that sounds like hyperbole but it’s legit), and for other cool shit, too, like working out relash issues, and like, shopping for cute stuff (this is not a joke, the Cosmos are pro-spree on this one, and needless to say, so are we). Line up dates and tough “we can get through this” talks on this day, bb. Get the good feels while you can, because on the 13th we get hit with a pretty shitty aspect: Sun in Virgo square Saturn in Sagittarius. It’s kinda the worst: rude ‘tudes from bosses/parental figures, pessimism, and just a general sense that the Universe is rejecting you, like, as a person. The good news is it’s only for a day, so mentally prep, and def don’t set up any important meetings or talks till after the 14th, just to be safe. You don’t play a direct role in this one, but since you share Virgo’s earth element, you may feel the pinch a little harder. On the 20th, a new moon in Virgo will bring an influx of potent, Virgo-related messages around healing. Virgo has powerful nursing capabilities, and the moon is the most nurturing placement of the zodiac. This pairing could bring up the theme of healing others at your own expense, how a lack of self-care leaves you weakened and/or resentful. It might also revisit old emotional wounds, asking you to readdress their care (‘bout that therapy life). Not gonna lie: this shit is no fun. But if you rise to the challenge, look it in the face, and do whatever you can to heal it—aka adult hardcore—the rewards will FAR outweigh the momentary discomfort; you’ll be able to start fresh and usher in clean, vibrant energy, rather than attracting energy aligned with the wound. Again, this is a love note for Virgo, but since you share her earth element, you may get a little more of this medicine than others in the zodiac. We end the month with a major planetary aspect: Jupiter opposite Uranus. This is like a cosmic fist pump that comes three times a year every 14 years. The 27th marks the last of the triad, so get in on the vibes while you can. Uranus is the planet of freedom and revolution, and Jupiter is like the super sizer of the cosmos—it aggrandizes everything it touches. They’ll be sitting on the Aries/Libra axis, which is about relationships, so expect some shake-ups in your relationship and partnership sector. If you’re lookin’ for love, you could see a rapid magnetic draw with a srs prospect, or if you’re totes monogs, things could move to the next level at turbo speed. This aspect is v progressive, so we’ll also likely see a big shift toward social freedom on a larger, political level (I know you’re thinking what I’m thinking, so let’s just all do some visualizing leading up to this date, shall we?). You might also feel general “rebel rebel” vibes—issues around individuality vs. fitting in are def part of the energy. The goal with this placement is to scrap what hasn’t been working and start fresh. You’re not so much the let loose type, Taurus, you’re more the “out of my cold, dead hands” type. But word to the wise on this one: letting go isn’t just better for you now, it’s inevitable. So enjoy it, Earth Babe—the surprises might just surprise you with how much fun they can be.

Hey ya, Gem! You start the month off in the house of career and fame, under Virgo’s scrupulous influence. This combo could see you having some professional success in Virgo-friendly arenas: mental agility, the free exchange of ideas, or work that’s in service to others. A killer way to create success for yourself professionally right now is through structure. Virgo loves organization and order, so to really tap into its benefits, get your routine on, write up those check lists, and get those weekly itineraries going. On the 3rd, we get a conjunction between Mercury and Mars in Leo, which is v powerful and requires v conscientious navigation skills. Leo on a good day is super passionate; on a bad: volatile af. This pair up is great for arguing a point, thinking on the fly, and coming up with a killer brainstorm—HOWEVS, it can also lead to temper flare ups, aggression, and srs hostility. Any touchy subjects that need discussing can wait—this is definitely not the day. As an air sign, you don’t have a direct role in this fire extravaganza, but it’s a pretty intense cosmic moment, so we’ll all feel the heat. On the 5th, we get to take a collective and massive sigh of relief (like, the most massive) when Mercury in Leo un-retrogrades itself, like a good planet, and stations direct. EF YES SO GOOD ALL THE HEART EYES. You may feel some retrograde hangover effects for the week following, but life will def mellow out after the 5th. On the 6th, a full moon in Pisces lights up your house of foundations, namely: home and family. Pisces has an incredible need to feel safe and secure, and often gets knocked off center by its own insecurities. Check in with yourself around the full moon for information about what makes you feel safe, what throws you off, and what you’re gonna do about it. Often those insecurities are ones we create in our own heads, so check yourself, Gem: do you wrestle with an asshole inner-critic who makes you feel like you aren’t good enough? Do you freak out easily when it comes to things like money or romance? Do you just generally bum your psyche out with an on-repeat message that you don’t have what it takes? More than likely, those kinds of questions are going to be central for you during this full moon, so guard yourself with some super grounding obsidian, and forge ahead like the boss babe that you are. On the 9th, the stars deliver a FIRE package: Sun in Virgo trine Pluto in Cap. Honestly, this shit is so tite; it gives you lots of power to make positive changes in your life, helps you win over higher ups, and ushers you in for leadership roles at work. It’s a damn good one to have in your cosmic artillery, so make the most of it by scheduling any and all work meetings on this day (especially if you’re looking for a promotion). You don’t have a direct role in this one, but it’s powerful enough that we’ll all get a piece of the good vibes. In terms of boos, Venus in Leo is hitting up your house friendships and social spheres. Def possible that someone you’ve friend zoned will have you thinking twice about that decision, or that your friends will be key in intro-ing you to a new cutie. But the real power of this house is in connecting with your squad and getting your socialite on (allow us to make that a bit easier for you). This placement doesn’t really need to feel attached so much as it needs to feel some crew love, so call up ya girls ‘cuz whether you’re ridin’ solo or spoken for, it’s about to go down. Speaking of Venus, we get some killer love vibes on the 12th when Saturn in Sagittarius trines Venus in Leo. This is bomb for finding the literal love of your life (I know that sounds like hyperbole but it’s pretty legit), and for other cool shit, too, like working out relash issues, and like, shopping for cute stuff (this is not a joke, the Cosmos are pro-spree on this one, and needless to say, so are we). Line up dates and tough “we can get through this” talks on this day, bb. Get the good feels while you can, because on the 13th we get hit with a pretty shitty aspect: Sun in Virgo square Saturn in Sagittarius. It’s kinda the worst: rude ‘tudes from bosses/parental figures, pessimism, and just a general sense that the Universe is rejecting you, like, as a person. The good news is it’s only for a day, so mentally prep, and def don’t set up any important meetings or talks till after the 14th, just to be safe. On the 20th, a new moon in Virgo will bring an influx of potent, Virgo-related messages around healing. Virgo has powerful nursing capabilities, and the moon is the most nurturing placement of the zodiac. This pairing could bring up the theme of healing others at your own expense, how a lack of self-care leaves you weakened and/or resentful. It might also revisit old emotional wounds, asking you to readdress their care (‘bout that therapy life). Not gonna lie: this shit is no fun. But if you rise to the challenge, look it in the face, and do whatever you can to heal it—aka adult hardcore—the rewards will FAR outweigh the momentary discomfort; you’ll be able to start fresh and usher in clean, vibrant energy, rather than attracting energy aligned with old wounds. We end the month with a major planetary aspect: Jupiter in Libra opposite Uranus in Aries. This is like a cosmic fist pump that comes three times a year every 14 years. The 27th marks the last of the triad, so get in on the vibes while you can. Uranus is the planet of freedom and revolution, and Jupiter is like the super sizer of the cosmos—it aggrandizes everything it touches. They’ll be sitting on the Aries/Libra axis, which is about relationships, so expect some shake-ups in your relationship and partnership sector. If you’re lookin’ for love, you could see a rapid magnetic draw with a srs prospect, or if you’re totes monogs, things could move to the next level at turbo speed. This aspect is v progressive, so we’ll also likely see a big shift toward social freedom on a larger, political level (I know you’re thinking what I’m thinking, so let’s just all do some visualizing leading up to this date, shall we?). You might also feel general “rebel rebel” vibes—issues around individuality vs. fitting in are def part of the energy. The goal with this placement is to scrap what hasn’t been working and start fresh. You’re one of the more adaptable signs of the zodiac, Gem, so this should be a no brainer for you. Just sit back, relax, and let the Cosmos lead the wild way.

Hey hey Crab Sister! You get the month going with Virgo in your house of friends and aspirations. Virgo is a socially subdued and pragmatic sign, so its influence will have a mellowing effect on what can sometimes be a gregarious house. Rather than network and move in and out of social circles, as you might otherwise do with this house, you’ll want to focus on nurturing the friendships you feel most comfortable with and whose loyalties you trust most. It’s about improving the quality of your social spheres, not the quantity. In terms of goals, it’s fine to dream big, but this month the most blessings will come from taking measurable and pragmatic steps toward reaching them. Make lists and knock at least one thing off of them per day; that kind of consistent, diligent behavior will be rewarded big time this month. On the 3rd, we get a conjunction between Mercury and Mars in Leo, which is v powerful and requires v conscientious navigation skills. Leo on a good day is super passionate; on a bad: volatile af. This pair up is great for arguing a point, thinking on the fly, and coming up with a killer brainstorm—HOWEVS, it can also lead to temper flare ups, aggression, and srs hostility. Any touchy subjects that need discussing can wait—this is definitely not the day. As a water sign, you don’t have a direct role in this fire extravaganza, but it’s a pretty intense cosmic moment, so we’ll all feel the heat. On the 5th, we get to take a collective and massive sigh of relief (like, the most massive) when Mercury in Leo un-retrogrades itself, like a good planet, and stations direct. EF YES SO GOOD ALL THE HEART EYES. You may feel some retrograde hangover effects for the week following, but life will def mellow out after the 5th. On the 6th, a full moon in Pisces lights up your house of play, creativity, and romance. Pisces is one of the most creative signs in the zodiac, so this is a killer time to tune into the kind of creativity/hobbies that allows you to fully express yourself. If you’ve been working on a creative project, this day would be a great time to release it to the world and show it off (and this would be a great look to show it off in). Another possibility with this full moon is trouble in the romance department. Pisces is a sucker for the underdog, and can attract people who need saving. We all go through hard times, but needing rescuing is a different story. Keep an eye out for red flags, and take them seriously if you see ‘em, Crab Babe (read: do not sleep with them anyway!). On the 9th, the stars deliver a FIRE package: Sun in Virgo trine Pluto in Cap. Honestly, this shit is so tite; it gives you lots of power to make positive changes in your life, helps you win over higher ups, and ushers you in for leadership roles at work. It’s a damn good one to have in your cosmic artillery, so make the most of it by scheduling any and all work meetings on this day (especially if you’re looking for a promotion). You don’t have a direct role in this one, but it’s powerful enough that we’ll all get a piece of the good vibes. In the love dept., Venus in Leo is cruising through your house of the subconscious. This is generally not a good time to get your love life on, like, at all (this house rules unrequited love—woof). It’s a good breather house to reflect rather than act because it oversees what Jung would call the “shadow”—the patterns you’re carrying out subconsciously that are basically fucked (real talk) and making your life harder than it needs to be. Since this is happening in your Venus placement this month, and since you already have some leanings this direction with the full moon in Pisces, my advice is to dedicate time looking objectively at how you show up in relationships and romance: journal, meditate, talk to your witch/psychic/tarot reader/therapist—whatever you gotta do to connect with your subconscious and get some pointers on how to make improvements. There is one day that’s an exception to all this, and that’s the 12th when Saturn in Sagittarius trines Venus in Leo. It’s bomb for strengthening bonds with the peeps you heart, and for other cool shit, too, like working out relash issues, and like, shopping for cute stuff (this is not a joke, the Cosmos are pro-spree on this one, and needless to say, so are we). Line up dates (friend and otherwise) and tough “we can get through this” talks on this day, bb. Get the good feels while you can, because on the 13th we get hit with a pretty shitty aspect: Sun in Virgo square Saturn in Sagittarius. It’s kinda the worst: rude ‘tudes from bosses/parental figures, pessimism, and just a general sense that the Universe is rejecting you, like, as a person. The good news is it’s only for a day, so mentally prep, and def don’t set up any important meetings or talks till after the 14th, just to be safe. On the 20th, a new moon in Virgo will bring an influx of potent, Virgo-related messages around healing. Virgo has powerful nursing capabilities, and the moon is the most nurturing placement of the zodiac. This pairing could bring up the theme of healing others at your own expense, how a lack of self-care leaves you weakened and/or resentful. It might also revisit old emotional wounds, asking you to readdress their care (‘bout that therapy life). Not gonna lie: this shit is no fun. But if you rise to the challenge, look it in the face, and do whatever you can to heal it—aka adult hardcore—the rewards will FAR outweigh the momentary discomfort; you’ll be able to start fresh and usher in clean, vibrant energy, rather than attracting energy aligned with old wounds. We end the month with a major planetary aspect: Jupiter in Libra opposite Uranus in Aries. This is like a cosmic fist pump that comes three times a year every 14 years. The 27th marks the last of the triad, so get in on the vibes while you can. Uranus is the planet of freedom and revolution, and Jupiter is like the super sizer of the cosmos—it aggrandizes everything it touches. They’ll be sitting on the Aries/Libra axis, which is about relationships, so expect some shake-ups in your relationship and partnership sector. If you’re lookin’ for love, you could see a rapid magnetic draw with a srs prospect, or if you’re totes monogs, things could move to the next level at turbo speed. This aspect is v progressive, so we’ll also likely see a big shift toward social freedom on a larger, political level (I know you’re thinking what I’m thinking, so let’s just all do some visualizing leading up to this date, shall we?). You might also feel general “rebel rebel” vibes—issues around individuality vs. fitting in are def part of the energy. The goal with this placement is to scrap what hasn’t been working and start fresh. You Crab Mamas can really invest in past wounds and emotional upheaval—and that’s cool, it’s part of what makes you so sensitive and emotionally generous toward others. But the time has come to walk away from the dead horse and get back in the saddle, Cancer. It’ll make for a way better ride, trust me.

‘Sup Lady Lions! September kicks off with Mercury retrograding in Leo until the 5th, which is about as fun as getting a tooth extracted. Heed my words, sister: LAY. LOW. It’s all confusion and bogus times for a hot minute, so don’t push it by trying to launch any projects or sign any contracts. You’re spending most of this month with Virgo in your house of the subconscious, spiritual connection, and altruism. Virgo is a service-oriented sign; it does best when it feels put to good use. The combination of these two energies will bring tons of blessings for you in generous acts that are of service to others. Volunteering, making charitable donations, giving free style advice (#selfless)—these kinds of things will invite good vibes back your way. The one word of warning I have is to be careful of martyrdom. Don’t do anything you’ll feel resentful or icky about; that would just bring your more scenarios you resented, def not what you’re going for. On the 2nd we get a killer trine for you fire babes: Mars in Leo trine Uranus in Aries. This is such a badass way to start off the month. It rewards risk-taking, routine balking, freedom loving action on your part, so literally jump out of a plane, quit your shitty job, hand that cutie your number—whatever makes you feel good and liberated will get a fat, cosmic thumbs up on this day. Soak up the vibes because a conjunction between Mercury and Mars in Leo on the 3rd will be v powerful and require v conscientious navigation skills. Leo energy on a good day is super passionate; on a bad: volatile af (not like I have to tell you that, boo ;). This pair up is great for arguing a point, thinking on the fly, and coming up with a killer brainstorm—HOWEVS, it can also lead to temper flare ups, aggression, and srs hostility. Any touchy subjects that need discussing can wait—this is definitely not the day. You’re all up in this one, so take note, Leo, and play it cool till after the 4th. On the 5th, we get to take a collective and massive sigh of relief (like, the most massive) when Mercury (still in Leo) un-retrogrades itself, like a good planet, and stations direct. EF YES SO GOOD ALL THE HEART EYES. You may feel some retrograde hangover effects for the week following, but life will def mellow out after the 5th—especially for you, Lioness. On the 6th, a full moon in Pisces lights up your house of work. Pisces is a heart-on-its-sleeve kind of sign, one of the most emotional in the zodiac, and it wrestles to feel secure and accepted. You might find that some kind of work drama brings these issues up for you at the office around the 6th, or that lingering issues around these themes come to a head. You might also find that you land v emotionally satisfying, spiritual, or creative work around this day (all Pisces-related arenas), so keep an eye out for that, too. On the 9th, the stars deliver a FIRE package: Sun in Virgo trine Pluto in Cap. Honestly, this shit is so tite; it gives you lots of power to make positive changes in your life, helps you win over higher ups, and ushers you in for leadership roles at work. It’s a damn good one to have in your cosmic artillery, so make the most of it by scheduling any and all work meetings on this day (especially if you’re looking for a promotion). You don’t have a direct role in this one, but it’s powerful enough that we’ll all get a piece of the good vibes. In the boo department, you’re straight cruisin’. Venus is in Leo most of the month, setting you up for some majorly sexy times (as it happens, we have just the thing for said times). Flirt your heart out, Leo; take all the attention and then some. This is prime Leo time to find love or to have fun trying. Your generous, big-hearted nature will be favored by the stars as far as love is concerned this month, so don’t hold back or clam up. If you have your eye on someone, let ‘em know about it. Speaking of Venus, we get some killer love vibes on the 12th and you’re gonna get a direct hit: Saturn in Sagittarius trines Venus in Leo on this day, which is bomb for finding the literal love of your life (I know that sounds like hyperbole but it’s pretty legit), and for other cool shit, too, like working out relash issues, and like, shopping for cute stuff (this is not a joke, the Cosmos are pro-spree on this one, and needless to say, so are we). Line up dates and tough “we can get through this” talks on this day, bb. Get the good feels while you can, because on the 13th we get hit with a pretty shitty aspect: Sun in Virgo square Saturn in Sagittarius. It’s kinda the worst: rude ‘tudes from bosses/parental figures, pessimism, and just a general sense that the Universe is rejecting you, like, as a person. The good news is it’s only for a day, so mentally prep, and def don’t set up any important meetings or talks till after the 14th, just to be safe. You don’t play a direct role in this one, but since you share Sag’s fire element, you may feel the pinch a little harder. On the 20th, a new moon in Virgo will bring an influx of potent, Virgo-related messages around healing. Virgo has powerful nursing capabilities, and the moon is the most nurturing placement of the zodiac. This pairing could bring up the theme of healing others at your own expense, how a lack of self-care leaves you weakened and/or resentful. It might also revisit old emotional wounds, asking you to readdress their care (‘bout that therapy life). Not gonna lie: this shit is no fun. But if you rise to the challenge, look it in the face, and do whatever you can to heal it—aka adult hardcore—the rewards will FAR outweigh the momentary discomfort; you’ll be able to start fresh and usher in clean, vibrant energy, rather than attracting energy aligned with the wound. We end the month with a major planetary aspect: Jupiter in Libra opposite Uranus in Aries (your fire sister). This is like a cosmic fist pump that comes three times a year every 14 years. The 27th marks the last of the triad, so get in on the vibes while you can. Uranus is the planet of freedom and revolution, and Jupiter is like the super sizer of the cosmos—it aggrandizes everything it touches. They’ll be sitting on the Aries/Libra axis, which is about relationships, so expect some shake-ups in your relationship and partnership sector. If you’re lookin’ for love, you could see a rapid magnetic draw with a srs prospect, or if you’re totes monogs, things could move to the next level at turbo speed. This aspect is v progressive, so we’ll also likely see a big shift toward social freedom on a larger, political level (I know you’re thinking what I’m thinking, so let’s just all do some visualizing leading up to this date, shall we?). You might also feel general “rebel rebel” vibes—issues around individuality vs. fitting in are def part of the energy, too. The goal with this placement is to scrap what hasn’t been working and start fresh. You share Aries’ fire element, so you’re going to feel these vibes that much stronger. As a fire sign, you’re not averse to change, but you’re also a fixed sign, so there’s a stubbornness to you, Lady Lion (I know I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know). That’s not gonna do you any favors with this one though, bb. If you feel yourself resisting the shifts during this one, just remember that a whole world of possibility is on the other side of uncertainty, and this baby is quite possibly one of the best aspects we’ve seen in a while.