Nada Alic found a bunch of old cult tapes while taking out the trash. Cue rabbit hole.
By Nada Alic
A couple of weeks ago I was taking out my trash and came across a binder of tapes leaning conspicuously against the wall of my apartment building. From the looks of the cover, I immediately assumed it was some kind of catalog of Jesus’ Greatest Hits worship music but when I opened it I was like, errr what what what what. What I discovered was a collection of cassette tapes from a 1970s cult entitled Twin Flames In Love. I know. Can you even. Before I begin to explain my lit-ral cult lover’s wet dream to you, can we pause to recognize the insane circumstance with which these tapes were presented to me? Was it a sign? Yes. Should I listen to them? Of course. Would I look hot in a white robe, though? Fer sher.
New Age Cult, Who Dis?
To give you some context on dafuq I listened to: Twin Flames In Love was recorded in the 1970s over a 2-day workshop led by cult leader and cautionary tale of what happens when you do an at-home perm: Elizabeth Clare Prophet. Sure, she was into mind control, stockpiling arms for the nuclear armageddon, and was thought to be the next Jim Jones but…how dope was it that she was a woman? Sup feminism! My girl ECP was all about twin flames, which were two beings that share a divine destiny, divided by their masculine and feminine polarity they will continue to meet each other throughout their lifetimes and will be together forever. Cute!! Twin flames are more legit than soul mates, who are two people that share a common mission but aren’t boos for lifetimes. There’s also karmic relationships, aka, all of your exes, who are just there to like work out their karma on you and vice versa.
“Sure, she was into mind control, stockpiling arms for the nuclear armageddon, and was thought to be the next Jim Jones but…how dope was it that she was a woman?”
The cult was originally started by Mark L. Prophet in 1958 as the Church Universal and Triumphant or C.U.T then later taken over by his wife, Elizabeth who became the reigning kween until she died in 2009. The church is still alive and well today, except now it’s called the Summit Lighthouse. C.U.T has elements of Christianity, Buddhism, esoteric mysticism, the paranormal and alchemy, astrology, and a buttload of Ascended Masters, who are deities that range from Jesus, Saint Germaine and something called Serapis Bey, which I assume is Beyonce’s new alter ego now. In the 80s and 90s, the cult was put on blast for low key purchasing 30k acres in Montana to set up bomb shelters for the coming nuclear armageddon and their neighbors were all like, what what what what. They also purchased weapons illegally and then went on Oprah and were all like, we’re just 400, totally chill people who love to farm and live together, what’s the big deal?
So I borrowed a cassette player from a friend and listened to all of the tapes; it wasn’t easy because I am easily distracted and was very bored, so full disclosure, I fast forwarded through all of the chanting (also because this is where I assumed all the mind control happens). But if you’re curious about what it sounds like, it’s like if you put your vibrator on demonic setting. I will give her credit though, she had a Kelly Anne Conway-level of stamina, without uttering a single um or taking a breath, she breezed through the principles of her religion with the kind of confidence reserved for someone who def just cashed in your membership fee.
“It’s like if you put your vibrator on demonic setting”
For the most part, she exhaustively rattles off scripture, periodically chants in this bone chilling monotone voice and repeats the same ideas over and over again, evoking deities and spending hours talking in circles until you forget what her original point was or if she had one. Basically, your mom on Facebook. Like, ok here is a few seconds that I transcribed from tape 2:
“In the name of the I am that I am and the internal Christ within, I summon the archangels, the elohim, the lords of creation, the chohan of the rings, I address the Christ presence and the I am of each one who is apart of this retreat I address the mighty I am presence of the Christ self, the twin flame of each one, participating in this retreat, I call for the inner light and the father mother god within us, now to be the reunion of twin flames and as in above as in below in spirit and in matter, elohim and lords of karma, release now that light, that energy and that karma whereby we enter into conscious cooperation with the hosts of the lord with the emissaries of light, with almighty god himself through and with our own beloved twin flame. I ask that there be an outpouring of light….”
“I will give her credit though, she had a Kelly Anne Conway-level of stamina, without uttering a single um or taking a breath, she breezed through the principles of her religion with the kind of confidence reserved for someone who def just cashed in your membership fee.”
To save you from 8 hours of the above, I broke it down for you:
What is a Twin Flame? Am I a Twin Flame?
Yeah, sure. Twin flames are two parts of the same whole. Everyone’s got to go through 14 cycles (ie 14 000 years) where we live out 7 cycles as a man and 7 cycles as a woman. But the problem is that we’ve got this hawt flame that many of us are misusing, which is not chill, because we forget that we are co-creators with God and the alpha and omega dual manifestation of one. Except, our spirit is androgynous (so ahead of the curve!) but our whole deal is to multiply to demonstrate the infinite light of God’s consciousness. But like, once we finish our cycles we will become ascended.
The only way to pass through these cycles is to exist on lower bodies, which are lower planes of consciousness (ie earth-based stuff) and work out our karma because we fucked up in the Garden of Eden so we’re spiritually grounded and not allowed to watch tv or use our cell phones for the next few thousand years. Thanks a lot, Eve!!! But don’t be bummed, because you’re god and I’m god, we just used Apple Maps on the way to the Ascended Masters so we’re gonna be a little late.
K, so I’m also God. That’s chill.
Kind of. It’s like that Kanye line: this is a God dream. You’re God but you don’t know it because you’re dreaming. That’s why she keeps repeating: I am that I am. It’s like her Make America Great Again. It’s basically acknowledging that we are God. God is in us. We are little baby gods making other gods x infinity. But then our twin flame creates the wholeness of God with us, so are we half God? And isn’t the whole point of working out your karma to get to God? And if I’m God, then why do I have to pay for my own HBO GO account?
“We fucked up in the Garden of Eden so we’re spiritually grounded and not allowed to watch tv or use our cell phones for the next few thousand years.”
Sex: Yay or Nay?
Her take on sex is the equivalent of your mom telling you that she’s not mad, she’s just disappointed. She doesn’t say it’s wrong, she’s more like, enter at your own risk. Sex is like sacred God energy and you can’t just go around wasting it however you please. If you engage in premarital or extramarital sex, you’re doomed to exist in the earthly realm forever, because you’re cutting off your spiritual supply. So it all comes down to: have sex or save up all of your cosmic consciousness points for the bliss of increased godliness. This is all very lol since she allegedly had an affair with the cook while she was still married to Mark Prophet.
“So it all comes down to: have sex or save up all of your cosmic consciousness points for the bliss of increased godliness.”
OK, how do I find my Twin Flame?
Pretty sure this was the whole point of the tapes. Pre-Tinder era folks were wanting to know where their Yoko was. Totally fair! Basically, you’re supposed to be awakened enough to just know. But get this, she does know and she can’t tell you. She can recognize if your twin flame is sitting right in front of you and she wants to tell you but her gurus are all like, if they’re too stupid not to see it then they don’t deserve true love. But remember, your twin flame is YOU in another incarnation, you came from the same “ovoid” and you’re a duplicate of one another, so TBH finding your twin flame sounds a little creepy. Maybe just stick to that hawt karmic partner who won’t text you back but is definitely in no way related to you.
After listening to the tapes and going down a Youtube rabbit hole, I still don’t understand how or why these tapes came to me, what I was supposed to take out of them, or if I will ever find my own Twin Flame. But what I do know is that if you have the voice of an auctioneer, the hair of a stage mom and a wardrobe full of colorful pant suits, you too can end up in someone’s yard under a pile of leaves and an empty Billy Madison VHS case. Praise be!
Ps: If you’re a cult lover like me and want to find out more, you should check out this hour-long talk by one of Elizabeth Clare Prophet’s daughters who wrote a tell-all book about her time in the cult, v interesting.