Your July ’18 Horoscope

Get ready for some major shifts and cosmic gifts – supreme space witch Remy Ramirez sheds light on the month ahead. 

By Remy Ramirez

Illustrations by Grace Miceli

Wut wut?? Sup birthday, girl?! You’re def getting some cosmic presents this month, starting with a little Sun in Cancer (it you) trine Jupiter in Scorpio. This combo tho! Jupiter is just a fuck ton of good times, so basically this is the celestial equivalent of a blended watermelon margarita by a pool in Bali… with Ryan Gosling… the unmarried version. Money could come rolling in, people will love you, work is tight—just in general, it’s really good shit. But don’t get too comfy, Water Mama. A major transit is going down on the 12th, and you’re right in the middle of it: Sun in Cancer opposite Pluto in Capricorn. It’s going to bring up some of the roughest aspects of Pluto: jealousy, manipulation, possessiveness, domination, maybe even weird revenge-y type stuff. Not chill. Not chill at all. It may feel like you don’t have control over a particular situation, but instead of retreating into your shell the way you Crab Babes are known to do when you get freaked, take a deep breath and confront the situation with your calm Cancer vibes. A little water medicine can go a long way, so as the adage goes: Don’t hurt anyone, but don’t take any shit either. The month closes out with a total lunar eclipse that is legit cray. It’s conjunct ambitious, driven Mars, square could-not-give-one-fewer-fuck-what-you-think-of-me Uranus, and going down in your house of work and health. It’s a recipe for some major shifts and changes in those areas—probably out of left field. Again, not your favorite thing, but hang in there, bb. Big changes can lead to big gains down the road.

Hear you rawr indeed, Lions! July jump-starts by giving you a v kewt beam of swag from Venus, who’ll be hanging out in your first house till the 9th. This’ll send you “I woke up like this” levels of self-love (not that you need much help in the confidence department, kitty cat). It’s a killer time for all things babe-related: makeovers, new threads, facials—don’t hold back. More good shit: on the 3rd, Mercury and True Node will also team up in your first house to help you manifest your life dreams. Yeah I said it, and IT’S NO JOKE, bb. Focus on the big pic—whatever it is that makes your lion heart sing—and go after it. A word of warning for the month: July 27th brings a supes intense total lunar eclipse, landing in your house of partnerships. This baby isn’t fucking around. With a conjunction to Mars and square to Uranus, you’ll need to be careful about partners acting like dicks (business partners, sexy time partners, roommates, etc.). You could also be the culprit, so if you feel those fire vibes starting to burn out of control and think you might lash out, check yourself before you wreck yourself. But like, also don’t put up with any shit. Changes could happen real quick on this day and catch you off guard—handle it like a champ, not a chump, Leo lady.

Good news, Virgo—sweet and sexy Venus will be hanging out in your first house from the 9th through the rest of the month, sending you some major mojo. This is about treating (and feeling) yoself; something you rarely take the time to do. Even if it means organizing your lipsticks or hunting for geodes or whatever it is that gets you earthy babes stoked on life—go hard doing you. More on that Venus tip: the 11th brings a trine between Venus and Uranus in your first house. The goal of this one is to create healthy freedom in love. It could def be about a romantic relationship, but it could also be about your relationship to your own self-love. Get ready to shed anything that’s been holding you back, whether that’s self-imposed limitations or barriers in a relash that are ultimately not chill. On the 27th, a total lunar eclipse will land in your house of passions and transformations. WHUUUTTT. Yeah girl, so intense. This moon will be conjunct lusty, masculine Mars and square none-of-the-fucks-given Uranus. So like, subtlety is not a thing with this one. Be on the look out for some potential bad vibes around your sex life, or else sudden changes, potentially with men, that create big-time upsets for you. This eclipse is supes unpredictable and a little agro, so call on that inner Virgo chill to help you see it through.

Hunker down, Air Mama. This month, the Sun in homebody Cancer will be scooting into your house of home, turning your focus to all things familiar. Whether you’re finding a new spot to call your own, making upgrades to the one you got, or turning your attention to family, this house will have you thinking about what home means to you and how you want it to look and feel. On the 9th, Venus will move into your house of values and possessions. Def a good time to buy cute shit for your house or yourself, or even to invest in the arts in some way (painting lessons? Cardi B tix?). The 27th is full of wild shit for us all when the cosmos bring a total lunar eclipse that’s basically the cosmic equivalent to a bull in a china shop. It’ll be riling up your house of long-term plans. So ya know, nbd. Because it’s conjunct determined, active Mars and square Uranus, who’s just a total fucking wild card, big changes can happen without warning in your ambitions for the future. This might actually be a good thing for you, or it might suck balls. Either way, it’ll be dramatic, so get your balance on Libra. It’s what you do best.

Tight shit comin’ atcha, Scorp! On the 5th, the cosmos are all like, “Hi I love you the most,” when they shoot you a little Sun in Cancer trine Jupiter in Scorpio (that’s you). Money could come rolling in, people will love you, work is tight—just in general, it’s really good shit. But it’s a rollercoaster, bb, cuz on the the 9th, Mercury in Leo squares Jupiter in Scorp. I mean, it’s not the worst, but you def need to watch your tongue (and not in the sexy way). There’s an added potential to crawl on into asshole territory with some especially revenge-y words you won’t be able to take back. Look, we all love having the last word, but at what cost? Figure out a way to be honest without being a dick, sister, that’s the sweet spot. On the 27th, you’ll get a big ole jolt to your career when the total lunar eclipse lights up your 10th house. It’s conjunct Mars, which is the most ambitious planet in the zodiac, but also square Uranus, who’s just totally crazy and unpredictable. Like, a Kanye in planet form. Expect big, unforeseen changes in the work sector. And remember that even if it looks like a steaming pile of shit at the outset, ultimately it’ll lead to good times and probably even more money. I mean, I have no way of knowing that for sure, but I’m fine with manifesting that for you. You’re welcome.

You better werk, Sag! No really. Like, actual work. The Sun in Cancer will be lighting up your house of work and service (the work you do bc you want to, not because you have to). Cancer’s energy is super connected to the home, so whether you’re moving home to work, working from home, or creating a sense of family at work, the jobby job is gonna be front and center this month. In other news, Venus will be spending the latter portion of the month in your house of home (I’m sensing a theme). Expect some housing upgrades: a little remodel, some succulents in the corner, one of those v cute bathmats with boobs on it. The cosmos want you to get used to living in a more beautiful setting, so take ‘em up on it, in whatever way makes sense for you. The end of the month is sending some shockwaves into your friends & networking sector. Our total lunar eclipse on the 27th is a wild one, Sag, with a conjunction to ambitious, driven Mars and square to Uranus, who’s always just like, “Fuck all y’all I do what I want.” WTF, it’s so crazy. With Uranus in the mix, there’s no telling what’s about to go down, but look for quick, unexpected changes in your friend group, on social media, or in networking situations. If it’s a connection to a sweet job via networking, tight. If it’s drama with your crew, fuck. Whatever comes along, just use that Sagittarius charm and posi vibe. It’s your magical power, and you might just need it.

Well, it won’t be boring for you this month, Cap, that’s for sure. A major transit is going down on the 12th, and you’re right in the middle of it: Sun in Cancer opposite Pluto in Capricorn. Honestly, you’re probably pretty sick of Pluto fucking with your shit, since it’s been sitting in your sign for a minute now, but guess what—it ain’t done. This transit is going to bring up some of the roughest aspects of Pluto: jealousy, manipulation, possessiveness, domination, maybe even weird revenge-y type stuff. Not chill. Not chill at all. It may feel like you don’t have control over a particular situation, which is, like, your least favorite thing, I know. Here’s how you’re gonna cruise through: by not giving yourself whiplash. Rather than freaking out trying to get the reins back, practice letting go of the reins and just going with the flow. The more you master that, the less the Universe will send you these funky vibes. On the 14th, Venus in Virgo trines Saturn in Cap, which will be super calming after all that Pluto business. It’s about loyalty, commitment, and making some serious “shit or get off the pot” moves. That’s more your style, so enjoy the lull, Earth Mama. The 27th is major. That day, a total lunar eclipse will go down in your house of secrets. Expect unexpected shifts, secrets revealed, or info that’s been lurking in the shadows jumping out at you banshee-style. It’s wild shit with a purpose. Not that you’ll be able to see that purpose right off the bat, but give it a minute, Cap. All will be revealed.

Yo girl, big shit on the horizon. The Sun in Cancer will be cruising through your house of transformations this month. Cancer is concerned with emotions and the home, so be on the look out for changes in your locale, or major feels that uproot you in some way. This house doesn’t fuck around, so be ready for some kind of notable shift before the month’s end. Speaking of, the end of the month brings a double whammy for you on the 27th. First up: Sun in Leo opposite Mars in Aquarius. This transit is about big egos, competitive feels, and a desire to put other people in their place. Yikes. It could be coming from you or at you. Either way, not fun times. That energy is going to compound the total lunar eclipse, also going down in Aquarius on the 27th. This eclipse is not fucking around. It’s conjunct fiery, competitive Mars and square Uranus, who’s just like, “IDGAF.” Like, think of quarter-life crisis Britney—that’s Uranus. All that together is fucking nuts, Aquarius, not gonna lie to you. How to deal? Your instinct is gonna be to assert yourself, get all pissy, and let your ego handle the sitch. And while I totally get it, I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS METHOD. These are some complex vibes, so use as much tact and diplomacy as possible. You’ll get a way better result outta the whole thing, believe me.

Sweet sweet Pisces, your month starts off chill af with Sun in Cancer trine Neptune in Pisces on the 8th. So many tight vibes, bb. Your artwork will be on a high, feels will be super connected and cute, and you’ll be all dreamy and spiritual (on that note—this is a killer day for a tarot reading, akashic clearing, etc.). Your little fishy self will be coming up aces, so enjoy it while it lasts, because the end of the month is rough waters in a real way. On the 24th, Venus in Virgo opposes Neptune in Pisces, bringing up not chill relash stuff like deception, betrayal, and peeps trying to take advantage of your trusting nature. What a bunch of shit. Your big lesson here? BOUNDARIES. Heed red flags, accept people at face value (aka no excuses for their shit behavior!), and remember that “no” is a full sentence. You’re a tender af fish—you literally have no barriers to protect you from the outside world. You gotta build your own, bb, to protect yourself from all that shark fuckery out there. The month closes out with some wild shit in the form of a total lunar eclipse, going down in your house of values, earned income, and possessions. It’s conjunct fiery, intense Mars, and square Uranus, who’s just perpetually having a fucking crazy Thelma and Louise moment. Like, “Whatever, maybe I’ll just drive off this cliff rn.” That’s Uranus. So what does it all mean for you? Look for major changes in your money comin’ atcha out of nowhere. And if it’s not about your hundos, it’ll be about what’s important to you (aka your values rather than your valuables—this house deals with both). Either way—it’s gonna be big, so hold on to your fins, Pisces.

Freelance for you, Ram Mama? The Sun in home-loving Cancer is lighting up your house of career, and the combo is looking suspiciously like working from home this month. There are also strong maternal, emo vibes from Cancer, so you might be looking at work that strikes an emotional cord or that relates to mothers in some way. Speaking of emo, after the 9th Venus will be sending waves of WTF through your love life as it transits your house of sex and transformations. I mean, it might be great sex that’s on the horizon, don’t get me wrong, but it might also be major shifts and changes that leave you wondering what just happened (and let’s be honest, it could def be a combo of the two). This house also deals with addictions and obsessions, so if you have any of that energy hanging out in your relationships, it’s about to come to a head this month (aka exnay on the Insta-stalking). The end of the month hits us with its best shot in the form of a total lunar eclipse that is no fucking joke. It’s conjunct passionate Mars, and square wild and crazy Uranus—and it’s all going down in your house of communication. OH. SHIT. Look, we all know you have a temper, Aries, and maybe tact isn’t your strength so much, but with this nutso combo, you gotta be extra careful not to become that pissed off office worker panda gif (you know the one). Hot tip: count to ten (or like, 50) before you say something that does permo damage, Aries. It’s a solid strategy, I promise.

Yes yes, Bull Babe. Get this party started right. On the 11th, you’re all up in a v kewt aspect: Venus in Virgo trine Uranus in Taurus. The goal of this one is to create healthy freedom in love. It could def be about a romantic relationship, but it could also be about your relationship to your own self-love. Get ready to shed anything that’s been holding you back, whether it’s a self-imposed limitation or barriers in a relash that are ultimately not chill. On the 25th, vibes shift a bit when the Sun in Leo squares Uranus in Taurus. Woof, dude. Emotions run high with this combo, and outbursts, unpredictable reactions, and/or rebellious behavior are likely. Reel it in, Taurus! You’re stubborn af (girl you know it’s true), and when you make your mind up to get cray, there’s no stopping you. I mean, sometimes that’s cool, but this isn’t one of those times. Slow and steady wins the race, bb, so stay chill and ride this one out. On the 27th, you’ll get some more wild shit when a total lunar eclipse hits up your house of home. WHOA GIRL. I see the potential for a big change coming up in your living situation. Either that, or quick shifts with your family—something you didn’t see coming. This eclipse is fueled by driven, determined Mars and square mega unpredictable Uranus. You’re all about stability, so this is like your kryptonite. Don’t freak though, Taurus. Just ride it out. You might not like the changes at first, but eventually you’ll understand why they had to happen.

Secrets are comin’ out, Gem! The Sun in sensi Cancer is landing in your house of shadows and secrets, so get ready to see what’s been hidden. Cancer rules the maternal and the home, so it could be related to your mom or your living situation. Cancer’s also on that emo tip, so emotions might be revealed—yours or someone else’s. In other news, Venus moves into your house of career after the 9th, and I am HERE for it. This is about you working on something you love—makin’ hundos off your passions, instead of The Man making’ hundos off you. IT IS TIGHT, so go forth, Gem, and unleash that genius of yours. The 27th is a major day for the cosmos, and that means it’s a major day for us, too. A total lunar eclipse will go down in Aquarius, landing in your house of creativity and children–meaning it might affect creative projects, kids in your life, or issues related closely to your childhood. It’s fueled by mega driven Mars and wild as shit Uranus (literally, Uranus is like, mildly schizo). That means big, disruptive, unforeseeable changes that just jump out of wherever tf and make a v real impact on your life. It sounds like the plot of a horror movie, I know, but A. It’s not, and B. If anyone can roll with these punches, it’s you Gem. Your light, airy nature will help you make these shifts a win in the end, so no need to brace for impact. You got this one, girl.