Briony Smith breaks down each episode of the Netflix show chronicling Nasty Gal’s beginnings. Because we’re super old school that way.
By Briony Smith
Never, ever have I felt more of a kinship with Sophia than I did during this episode when it was revealed that her burgeoning Nasty Gal business has turned her apartment into a teetering, tottering hoard of precariously perched Rubbermaid bins. It me, you guys. It me. My apartment is crammed with various pony figurines, approximately 7,000 books, vintage fans (working and non), huge ship paintings, and bin after bin containing the four tons of stuff I need to trade on Bunz. Sophia has so much stuff jammed in there that bumping a single box sets off a chain reaction that tips a glass of wine onto a blue blouse she is about to sell; I feel this so hard, considering that, in the past week, I have managed to spill a full bag of chips onto the ground (twice) and witnessed the graphic near-death of a spear plant that almost met its doom toppling off a not-exactly-stable stack of books. Sophia has a more legit reason for her hoard—her business has outgrown her apartment and she needs for-realsies office space ASAP.
So off she goes to check out some spaces alongside some tech knob. This sploinked.com dude deems Space #1 not silent enough for ideating; Sophia actually agrees, asking to see the more baller space up top. It is roomy enough that she can march the length of it and get off most of the chorus of The Proclaimers’ “500 Miles” before reaching the very chic floor-to-ceiling windows. Unfortch, the premium space demands a very premium set of references and a co-signer (one bra on a department store card straight-up ruined our girl’s credit).
I was very happy to see that Annie’s boner for Sophia’s dad has not, in fact, been tempered, as the world’s best BFF offers up Sophia’s “incredibly sexy, monumentally virile” daddy dearest (shout-out to his “lithe, agile haunches”) as the perfect co-signer to score her her dream space. She knows her pops is a numbers man, however, but, thankfully, Annie is “deep-dicking” a super-nerd who can help with putting together a fly as hell business plan to wow papa.
Dax is just the first member of the super-squad that Sophia assembles to win over her father. Lionel is enlisted to play her current landlord for her potential landlord; a consummate thespian, he kills it (and, taking the role to heart, demands that Sophia clean up her damn apartment: “my tongue is heavy, I feel like I’m going to throw up”). Shane is called upon to act as the buffer during the crucial dinner, although Sophia decrees he will only get a single embarrassing childhood story out of her dad in exchange for his time.
The big dinner is a big success and Big Poppa says yes to co-signing, but it all goes awry the next day when he starts to take over big time, telling Sophia that he wants to protect himself by being the sole person on the lease and only doing a six-month trial lease for now. Sophia is pissed and storms off to her photo shoot, featuring our gorgeous alien model from a few eps back. She takes Sophia’s tantrum in stride, deadpanning, “Is no-one going to ask me about my date with a billionaire last night?” (Sophia asks if he can buy her some office space. “Her,” the model replies. “Oh, my god,” Sophia says, “Blink twice if it was Oprah.”)
In a moment of true fate, Sophia’s tantrum kicks a hole right into the office space of her dreams. The two-storey industrial-chic seaside warehouse is far more her style than the sterile Office Space blahscape she wanted previously, and Burt Coyote is willing to take a gamble on this nasty gal, sealing the deal with a spit-infused handshake. Now that is more our girl: a nasty space for a nasty gal.
BEST OUTFIT OF THE WEEK:
Royalty ruffles are so in RN, so win of the week goes to our alien model friend.
WORST OUTFIT OF THE WEEK:
I feel like this ensemble is one notch away from a serious high-fashion masterpiece, so it is only nominally the worst of the week, and we are keeping our fingers crossed for more fierce Burt Coyote lewks in the weeks ahead.
Other Good Stuff This Week:
-It is the final buzz of a voicemail notification that sends the wine glass asunder, BTW. “What kind of monster leaves a voicemail?” Sophia screams. AGREED.
-Signs it’s 2007: Annie suggesting they use Ask Jeeves for their real estate search needs (“he seems to know a lot about a lot of stuff”), Clippy the helper paper-clip is the final member of the Business Plan Super-Squad (“looks like you’re trying to make a bar graph!”).
-I can only hope we get to see more of Sophia’s new landlord, Burt Coyote. “According to maritime law, I have to break one of your legs,” he growls after he finds the ladies wandering his property. After they protest, he breaks in: “If you knew me, you’d know that was a joke.” Oh, Burt.