Girlboss Recap: Episode #12

Briony Smith breaks down each episode of the Netflix show chronicling Nasty Gal’s beginnings. Because we’re super old school that way.

(Photo: Netflix)

We had a hell of a cliffhanger two eps back when Sophia and Annie suffered a potentially permanent and particularly nasty bestie breakup. We also suffered, having to white-knuckle it through an entire episode of mom drama before we could find out if Sophia was going to get our girl Annie back. Thankfully, this new installment got right to the throwdown, plopping us in the middle of an epic 2008 New Years Eve party, where Sophia—who, as always, doesn’t do anything halfway—has shown up with SORRY writ large (in…lipstick?) on her forehead and is pledging eternal BFF-ship to Annie, who is now rocking a v. cute bob (we’ll miss you, pixie cut!). Girlboss that she is, Annie demands that Sophia detail what she misses about her (“Britney updates,” for one), and, at last, Sophia finally sucks it up and apologizes to Annie for being a total jerk. “I am sorry I am so selfish. Annie, I love you. In case I die. And if that happens right now, before you say it back to me, then I assure you, I will haunt you forever. Or until you and Dax get married and it gets uncomfortable,” she pleads. “I need you. Nasty Gal needs you.” And with a call of “Get over here, you dirty slut,” all is forgiven and our estranged heroes are back to being ride-or-die.

Now that Sophia and Annie are back in business, it’s time to get back to business. The Nasty Gal website launch is mere weeks away and there is a lot of shit to do. Sophia calls to order an offish Nasty Gal meeting—shout out to finally getting Annie on the books—to set out their three main to-dos to get Nasty Gal up and running, which includes building the website, telling everyone about it and building up their inventory. Annie immediately proves her worth by drawing a giant dick on the wall in chalk to mark their progress in acquiring the 100 pieces they need to be fully stocked for the launch date, and Sophia is all set with her handy copy of Building A Website For Dummies.

Sort-of. Turns out coding isn’t Sophia’s strong suit, so Annie calls in Kaavi, a no-nonsense web developer, to help them out. Kaavi is not only skilled in web design; she can also be counted on to take the piss out of the Nasty Gal gals, including deeming a Halston jumpsuit as looking like “something from a museum exhibit on lady astronauts in the seventies.” Now that Sophia and Annie have all the inventory they need and PR handled, and Kaavi is on the job, “this might actually work,” Sophia enthuses. “Of course it’s going to work!” Annie says. “We have the confidence of much older women.”

They’re gonna need that confidence ‘cause shit is about to get real. Turns out the NastyGal.com domain is, in Kaavi’s inestimable verbiage, “currently filled with pornographs.” Even worse, Sophia already blasted out that address to her followers, so come launch date, they’ll get an eyeful of “shaved sniz” instead of Halston jumpsuits. Kaavi has created a very chic site—but Sophia hates it. “This is my baby,” she says. “Your customers are going to find your baby boring, confusing and ugly” is Kaavi’s sick burn in retort. (Annie chimes in: “My sister had that baby,” she eyerolls. “She named him Cormac.” See, Sophia? She is paying for herself in comic relief alone!) Some trash chain store is selling Halston-esque jumpsuits by the dozen, inspiring a meltdown in Sophia, who flees back to the office and tells Annie they cannot launch in time and, in short, she is losing her goddamn mind.

Annie skillfully does some managing upwards by telling Sophia that a) as a boss, she “can’t just come in here acting like a crazy person” and b) she needs to clear her head and c) the best way to do so is to catch that d, giiiiiiirl. “Go get fucked,” she intones. “Go to that man of yours and have him do you—fuck your mind straight.” Employee of the goddamn year right here.

And, so, Sophia high-tails it to the studio where Shane is recording his demo—only to find someone else catching that d. In her mouth. Despite stumbling in on her BF midd-fellash with some band floozy, Sophia turns around and strides right back out, even returning to his bed that night, all steely-eyed staring at the ceiling. No-one is going to do anything to jeopardize the launch of NastyGalVintage.com. Not even her cheating boyfriend. But will she make it to the launch party without going full nuclear meltdown? Either way, it’s going to be quite the rager.

BEST OUTFIT OF THE WEEK:

(Photo: Netflix)

I was madly in love with Sophia’s slinky silver party number mid-season, but Annie’s gold strapless party dress is also pretty damn boss.

WORST OUTFIT OF THE WEEK:

(Photo: Netflix)

Girl, if you want to work at a fashion start-up, you gotta up your game!

Other Good Stuff This Week:

-One final squee over how good it is to have Annie back: “Fuck PowerPoint, that was crazy dramatic, now do the others,” she cries over Sophia’s dramatic reveal of the tri-prong NG launch strategy. “No, no, no,” Sophia cackles, “you have to wait for the build.”

-Also absolutely delighted for the return of artiste Nathan and his hippie mother (hot tip: pot cookies, “the only way to watch art”). He and his mom’s simultaneous realization that he should now become a dancer makes me yearn for an additional spin-off show: Nathan: Dance Is My Life.

-What would you have done if you caught your partner mid-beej with someone else? I feel like finding some large receptable and filling it with water and then dumping it on them both would be a chic move.