Your March ’19 Horoscope

Supreme space witch Remy Ramirez has the deets on your cosmic gifts and shifts to come!

Well, girl, it’s def a mixed bag this month. Mercury is retrograde in Pisces from the 5th to the 28th, lighting up your house of self (yeesh).  Expect weird vibes, all the feels, and a potential blow to your ego. That’s the hard stuff—but you might also get some opps to reassess who you are and all the girl boss shit you want to achieve on a larger scale. To help with that, a new moon will land in Pisces on March 6th, and it’s ushering in new beginnings and a solid foundation. Plant seeds toward that good good, fish babe, and watch ‘em shoot up like whoa.

Mercury retrograde’s about to fuck with your cash flow, Ram Mama, which I know is like nails on a chalkboard to you. Whether it’s a late payment, a miscommunication around a check, or a negotiation gone awry—the 5th to the 28th is not a chill time for that checking account. Pro tip: Avoid any and all money talks, don’t invest in anything, and def don’t sign any contracts. Mercury gets her shit straightened out in April, and you’ll be able to go back to your ushz: powering through, being a boss, and makin’ it rain. 

If there was ever a shit time to gossip, it’s now, Taurus. Mercury retrograde is wreaking havoc in your house of communication this month, so you gotta be on top of your game with everything comin’ outta that mouth. That also means you have to be careful that your stubborn streak doesn’t lead to telling the wrong person off (just journal about those feels, girl). On the 1st, Venus, your ruling planet, moves into your house of career, and that ish is SO. TITE. Expect a major boost at the office, and all the glory that goes with it.

Drama on the home front, comin’ atcha, Gem. Mercury retrograde is coming down hard in your house of home and family this month, and it’s gonna make you v sensi around your living situation and/or your family. Don’t be surprised if your roommate throws a fit, your landlord loses your rent check, and/or your parents piss you off in unprecedented ways. That’s the shit news, but the good news is that, come April, Mercury will get ahold of herself, and all the weird vibes will blow over.

Well Crab Babe, just think of Mercury retrograde as a rain cloud and March as your parade. Womp womp. Everyone’s least favorite astrological occurrence is going down in your house of doing fun shit, being creative, and children/childhood. Pleasure trips you have on the books this month will be wonky, creative projects you’ve been working on will likely get delayed, and childhood issues could come up to bum you out in the realest of ways. Just hold out for the full moon in Virgo on the 19th—it’s a real good one and will help you sort through the dumpster fire that is Mercury retrograde.

Work drama, Fire Mama! Mercury retrograde’s about to fuck with you professionally, and it’s literally the most annoying. Whether it’s trouble launching your projects, miscommunications with your boss, swearing up and down you hit send on that v important email but somehow that little fucker never made it out of your Drafts folder—March is bringing some shit astrological behavior to your work front. On the upside, the full moon on the 19th will light up your house of spirituality and get you zen AF so you can deal with the vibes, and maybe even make some magic happen, too.

If you’re about that team life, Mercury retrograde’s gonna test it in a real way, Virgo. From the 5th to the 28th, it’s putting pressure on team BFF and team bae, plus any biz partners you work with. Quarrels, meltdowns, misunderstandings, and general bummer happenings are all possible with this cosmic combo. It sounds shitty, but it’s actually a test to make sure the two of you can survive the fire, so do your best to work through it and get to a better space (unless it’s time to peace tf outta there). On the 19th, you get your v own, v good full moon, so just hold out till then, bb.

Good news, Libra—sexy, artistic Venus, your ruling planet, is moving into your house of hot flings, creativity, and general fun times on March 1st. OMG YES. Get with those hotties you’ve been eyeing, put your creative projects in front of higher ups, and throw a few weekenders on the books while you’re at it. In news you probably won’t be as pumped about, Mercury retrograde is going hard in your house of taxes, loans, and inheritances for most of the month, so get your ducks and your cash in a row so that you don’t have any surprises or drama later on down the road.

Literally just don’t travel this month, Scorp; chill at home instead. Mercury retrograde is fucking with your foreign affairs, so anywhere that isn’t in front of your TV or within a 10 mile radius thereof is the danger zone and not to be messed with. Anything school or education related is also gonna feel the wrath, so beware. On the 19th, get pumped for a killer full moon in your house of communication. Great news is totes poss on this day, so give that inbox a good refresh and see what the Cosmos have in store.

UGH, why you gotta hate, Mercury?? From the 5th through the 28th, it’s retrograde and causing drama in your career sector. Miscommunications, shit taking way longer than your fiery af temperament would like, or weird stuff like your printer jamming for literally no reason (was there even paper in there??) are all on the menu. Either that, or you’ll be going back to a project you worked on in the past—heads up for that, too.  On the 19th, a KILLER full moon is helping out your home and family sector, so let that be the light at the (sort of not really but pretty close) end of the tunnel.

Unless your squad goals include a full on meltdown with your girls, this Mercury retrograde is bringing you some shit you could do without. You’re not one to pop off, but you’ll put a bitch in line, that’s for sure, and you might have to with this astrological combo bringing drama to your crew. Just remember—be honest, but don’t be an asshole. On the 19th, a super good full moon is bringing all the party vibes. Whatever multitude of bummers MR has in store, just know the 19th will help take the sting out so you can thrive, Cap.

Mercury retrograde’s at it again, Aquarius—this time in your house of the shadow. Woof. Def do NOT try to get away with telling secrets this month; the Cosmos will put a floodlight on that shit so fast. You also might find out about some v not chill secrets being told about you, or forced to look at an old wound and finally get some closure around it. While that’s not exactly a party, the good news is that closing the chapter on this baby will pave the way for some srsly good shit down the road, Air Babe.

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