Your December ’18 Horoscope

It’s Sag season and supreme space witch Remy Ramirez has the deets on your cosmic gifts to come.

By Remy Ramirez

Illustrations by Grace Miceli

It’s that time again, Archer Mama! December means full steam ahead with all things Sagittarius: adventure, learning, discovery, telling the truth tactfully or no (often no, let’s be honest). You’re one of the most fun-loving signs of the zodiac, and your bday month is the time to go balls out with shenanigans, so don’t hold back. Cosmically speaking, you jumpstart Sag season on the 1st with Mercury retrograde moving out of your sign (EF YES) and into Scorpio for the last five days of its backward transit (it goes direct on the 6th). This means five days of Merc. retrograde in your house of money and self-worth—woof. The good news is it’s not even for a week; the bad news is you’re particularly vulnerable to miscommunications about money during those days (def a terrible time to negotiate business, FYI). You might also have some difficult conversations that bring up issues of self-worth, so keep that in mind before you agree to any heart-to-hearts. There is more good news though: One day later on the 2nd, Venus moves into your 2nd house, showering you with all the good feels and luck in the areas of money and self-worth, so it may well cancel out Merc’s bad vibes (and potentially bring you some romance through whatever way you make money—tight). The month rounds out with a full moon in Cancer sextile Uranus on the 22nd, landing in your house of work and service. Look for killer, unexpected changes in any work that you do because you love and believe in it. With that Cancer moon up in it, you’ll really need to follow your gut if a decision needs to be made—it’ll lead you in the right direction, Sag, so don’t second guess it. NYE note to all signs: YO! Dec. 31st, the stars are NOT fucking around. That night, Mars, planet of war and action, moves into Aries, also the sign of war and action. SO intense. You’ll def have an urge to go hard—and that’s cool—but conflict and aggression are totes poss, so easy on those shots, only hang with mellow cats, and if you’re drinking, do not mess—Lyft it, hundred percent. Just some ways to make sure you end 2018 on a v high note, bb.

Hey hey, Goat Babes. Here’s the good news: Mercury retrograde ends on the 6th (YASSS), but here’s the bad news: on the 1st, it moves into Scorpio and your house of communication. UGH. For the last five days before Merc. goes direct, be super careful with any and all convos—even emails could be culprits. You can be a dick when you want to be, Cap, and while it’s what we love about you, you gotta be extra careful that you don’t come off as a dick to the wrong person or in the wrong situation when the stars align this way. On the 2nd, Venus does you a solid and also scoots into your house of communication, right behind Mercury. This is tight af because all its good feels will help mitigate Mercury retrograde’s shenanigans. Plus, some v romantic conversations could def go down for the remainder of the month while Venus hangs out here (or some super tough heart-to-hearts, depending on what the Cosmos are up to—so heads up there). On the 22nd, a full moon in Cancer sextile Uranus will light up your house of partnerships. GOOD SHIT! Expect quick, unforeseen changes to work in your favor with partners and potential partners (from romance to biz). If you’re looking to get a relash on lock or find love, this is a great time, sis. On the other hand, if you’re looking to team up with someone professionally or literally in any other way, the Cosmos are lining up there, too. Whatever decisions or opportunities come around on this day, remember to rely on your intuition for guidance—this sensi Cancer moon is all about those gut instincts. NYE note to all signs: YO! Dec. 31st, the stars are NOT fucking around. That night, Mars, planet of war and action, moves into Aries, also the sign of war and action. SO intense. You’ll def have an urge to go hard—and that’s cool—but conflict and aggression are totes poss, so easy on those shots, only hang with mellow cats, and if you’re drinking, do not mess—Lyft it, hundred percent. Just some ways to make sure you end 2018 on a v high note, bb.

Sup, Water Bearers. December kicks off with Mercury retrograde moving backwards into Scorpio on the 1st, and into your house of home—yeesh. The good news is that it’ll only be causing mischief till the 6th, when Merc. goes direct. The bad news is that it could create some upsets on the home front during those days. If you’re doing any home-related work: buying, selling, moving, renting, remodeling, decorating—heads up that wires could get crossed in a real way. Def don’t sign any contracts or make any verbal agreements on home-related issues till after the 6th, sis. That said, I do have more good news. On the 2nd, Venus scoots right up behind Mercury into Scorpio and into your same house of home. Venus is all about beauty, abundance, luxury, and good feels, so she’ll help keep Mercury retrograde in line for those first five days of December, and then you get to have her in this placement the rest of the month (holla!). With Venus in your corner, if there’s anything you want to do about your living situation after the 6th (change it, upgrade it, etc.), this month is the time. And in general, your home will get all kinds of posi vibes from Venus, so don’t fight urges to stay in or to keep the holidays local—Venus is seducing you in that direction, so just go with it. On the 22nd, a full moon in Cancer sextiles Uranus in your house of transformation. This house is pretty hardcore—it deals with death and rebirth (figuratively speaking). That combined with change-maker Uranus is an intense combo, not gonna lie. Be on the lookout for changes that come out of nowhere—potentially even internal changes that affect how you perceive the world—and know that whatever it is you’re leaving behind is nowhere near as good as what the Cosmos are going to replace it with. NYE note to all signs: YO! Dec. 31st, the stars are NOT fucking around. That night, Mars, planet of war and action, moves into Aries, the sign of war and action. SO intense. You’ll def have an urge to go hard—and that’s cool—but conflict and aggression are totes poss, so easy on those shots, only hang with mellow cats, and if you’re drinking, do not mess—Lyft it, hundred percent. Just some ways to make sure you end 2018 on a v high note, bb.

Oh hi, Pisces. December gets going with a little switcheroo when Mercury retrograde scoots backward into Scorpio territory on the 1st, landing in your house of creativity, children, and leisure. The upside is that Mercury goes direct on the 6th, so you’ll only get five days of Merc. mayhem in this house. The downside is that Scorpio energy is potent af, so for those first five days of December, be on the lookout for upsets around creative projects you’re working on, trouble in paradise should you have any getaways on the books, and/or communication breakdowns with your children or people from your childhood (cough, parents, cough cough, siblings). That said, Venus will do us all a major favor when she moves into Scorpio on the 2nd, pulling up right behind Merury retrograde and shining her love beams into that exact same house. This will def help tone the retrograde vibes down during the tail end of its transit, so big ups to Venus for that. And then you get to cruise with sexy Venus in that house for the rest of the month, so after the 6th, vacays, childhood peeps, your kids (if applicable), and creative work are all getting posi vibes in a real way. Romance could also show up in any of these areas, so if you’re traveling for the holidays or hitting up any parties, bring some cute lewks for sure. On the 22nd, a full moon in Cancer will sextile Uranus in your house of long-term plans and foreign affairs. This is SUCH a good full moon. Moon in Cancer is especially nurturing and heartfelt—the energy is v mothering. So when she makes a happy connection to Uranus, planet of innovation and change, you can bet the result will be supportive, up-leveling life shifts that will have a lasting impact. Travel could definitely be involved, or even higher education (grad school, etc.). Whatever it is, welcome it with open arms because it’s got your best interest at heart, and if you need to make a decision around this day, go with your intuition—it’ll pay off. NYE note to all signs: YO! Dec. 31st, the stars are NOT fucking around. That night, Mars, planet of war and action, moves into Aries, the sign of war and action. SO intense. You’ll def have an urge to go hard—and that’s cool—but conflict and aggression are totes poss, so easy on those shots, only hang with mellow cats, and if you’re drinking, do not mess—Lyft it, hundred percent. Just some ways to make sure you end 2018 on a v high note, bb.

Hey there, Aries! December is full of surprises, starting on the 1st with a mini Mercury retrograde stint through your house of work and service (this covers all areas of work that we do because we love it, not necessarily because we have to). This house got chewed on by Venus retrograde for a lot of October and November (you probably noticed things like delays or communication breakdowns at work or in your volunteer/creative projects), and now Mercury retrograde is having a turn at it. Woof. The good news is that Merc. stations direct on the 6th, so it’s a pretty short-lived moment of mayhem. More good news: On the 2nd, Venus (who’s now direct), comes right up behind Mercury, landing in Scorpio and this exact same house of work and service. YAY. Venus is full of beauty, affection, romance, and generally tight vibes, so not only will she help counteract Merc. retrograde’s shenanigans through the 6th, she’ll also be hanging out in this house for the rest of the month, making all kinds of good things (maybe even romance!) happen for you in your work/passion project sector and even cleaning up the messes she made last couple months (it’s the least she can do). On the 22nd, a Cancer full moon will sextile Uranus in your house of career and fame. YES YES YES this shit is so good!!! Uranus is the planet of change and innovation. When she shows up, you can expect the unexpected—quick changes you didn’t see coming. That could be a bummer, but in this case, Uranus is in a v positive aspect to the Cancer Moon, making the changes pleasant and the results supes good (especially with Cancer in the mix—she just loves taking care of us). Your career is going to be the main beneficiary, and you could even get noticed by some major higher ups. Should you be faced with a fork in the road around this day (especially as pertains to career matters), for sure go with your gut instinct—anything else will lead you down the wrong path. NYE note to all signs: YO! Dec. 31st, the stars are NOT fucking around. That night, Mars, planet of war and action, moves into Aries, the sign of war and action. SO intense. You’ll def have an urge to go hard—and that’s cool—but conflict and aggression are totes poss, so easy on those shots, only hang with mellow cats, and if you’re drinking, do not mess—Lyft it, hundred percent. Just some ways to make sure you end 2018 on a v high note, bb.

Ya ready to rumble, Bull Babes? December starts off on some rocky footing on the 1st when Mercury retrogrades on backwards into Scorpio and into your house of partnerships. Honestly though, boo. Be on the lookout for communication breakdowns with bae or anyone you team up with (biz partners, et al). With deeply emotional (and potentially jealous/vengeful) Scorpio in the mix, you could see a lot of painful feels flying around. That’s the bad news. The good news is that Mercury goes direct on the 6th, so the tumult only has about five days to play out. Also, Venus, planet of love, beauty, harmony, and sexy times, moves into Scorpio and your same house of partnerships on the 2nd, so she’ll be able to neutralize some of Merc. retrograde’s bad vibes during those first five days of the month, and then she’ll be hanging around this house for the rest of the month, making all kinds of good things happen. This house is known for bringing marriage and/or long-term partners, and that’s Venus’ specialty, so if you’re waiting for the one, this month is a good time to get out there and mingle. On the 22nd, a full moon in Cancer with a sextile to Uranus lands in your house of friends and networking circles. Dude. LOVE this moon. Uranus creates changes, and with such a good aspect, these changes are ones you’ll like. Cancer is super nurturing and sincere, so the combo is LEGIT. What to expect? A really good shift in your friend crew, social circle, or any group you network with. The change will lead to you feeling more cared for and may even have a sweet emotional component (not sweet like tight, but like, genuinely sweet). If any decisions need to be made around this day, hundred percent rely on your intuition. It’ll lead you to the good stuff, Taurus. NYE note to all signs: YO! Dec. 31st, the stars are NOT fucking around. That night, Mars, planet of war and action, moves into Aries, the sign of war and action. SO intense. You’ll def have an urge to go hard—and that’s cool—but conflict and aggression are totes poss, so easy on those shots, only hang with mellow cats, and if you’re drinking, do not mess—Lyft it, hundred percent. Just some ways to make sure you end 2018 on a v high note, bb.

Ch-ch-changes comin’ atcha, Gem! Mercury retrograde scoots on backward into Scorpio on the 1st, and into your house of transformation. Dude. This is big. Mercury is your ruling planet, so you get extra doses of whatever medicine it’s trying to dish up, and its retrograde transit is no exception. From the 1st to the 6th, when Mercury stations direct, you can expect to look back onto previous issues in your life, especially in relationship to anything you’ve let go of (people, places, ways of living your life), and what you’ve chosen to replace that with. The house of transformation is a mutha, so be prepared to confront what’s been working and what hasn’t so you can course correct as needed. One v tight thing about all this is that Venus is right on Mercury’s heels. She’ll move into Scorpio and this exact same house on the 2nd. Venus loves love, beauty, and harmony, and now that she’s direct, she’ll be helping spread some v good vibes all over this house for you, mitigating any fuckery Merc. retrograde has up its sleeve. Not to mention the fact that she’ll be hanging out here for the rest of the month, creating posi shifts in your relationship sector. This could mean ushering in a perma-boo, new friends, or a better relationship with your fam. It could also mean letting toxic people go—not always the most fun, but hundred percent for your long-term benefit. On the 22nd, a full moon in sensitive Cancer will light up your 12th house of intuition, self-healing, and secrets. This moon is sextile Uranus, which will create quick, unforeseen changes that work in your favor. YAS. A killer secret might be revealed to you around this day, spiritual work could move you in a super empowered direction, or a strong intuitive hunch might send you down an exciting new path. Because we’re dealing with the moon and v maternal Cancer, follow your gut instincts to a tee around this moon should any big decisions come up. NYE note to all signs: YO! Dec. 31st, the stars are NOT fucking around. That night, Mars, planet of war and action, moves into Aries, the sign of war and action. SO intense. You’ll def have an urge to go hard—and that’s cool—but conflict and aggression are totes poss, so easy on those shots, only hang with mellow cats, and if you’re drinking, do not mess—Lyft it, hundred percent. Just some ways to make sure you end 2018 on a v high note, bb.

It’s time to get srs about your future, Cancer! On the 1st, Mercury retrograde backs that ass up into Scorpio till the 6th, when it goes direct. That means for five days, it’ll be asking you to review any decisions you’ve made around your long-term life plan (and also wreaking havoc on any travel plans you have during that stint). You may very well realize that things you thought were gonna last forever are actually nearing an end or aren’t working out the way you wanted. Though this may seem like a bummer, it’s actually good info for you to have when you plan out how to get back on track. Also on the upside: Venus follows right behind Mercury on the 2nd, also lighting up your house of long-term plans. She’s full of good vibes and fulfilling relationships, so having her on your team during four of those five days will really help counteract any wrenches Mercury retrograde wants to throw into your week. Plus, she’ll stay put there for the rest of the month, bringing all kinds of good feels into your big-picture plans, especially in terms of relationships with people who love you and have your best interest at heart. This is also a killer time to travel and maybe even meet a cutie from abroad, so bust out that Rosetta Stone. On the 22nd, the full moon in Cancer has your name all over it, bb. It’s by you for you, and comes with a Uranus sextile, which will help create posi changes that up-level your life and your entire sense of self (NBD just your entire sense of self). Any crossroads that you encounter around this day, go with your instincts when making a final decision—it’ll give you the best results for sure. NYE note to all signs: YO! Dec. 31st, the stars are NOT fucking around. That night, Mars, planet of war and action, moves into Aries, the sign of war and action. SO intense. You’ll def have an urge to go hard—and that’s cool—but conflict and aggression are totes poss, so easy on those shots, only hang with mellow cats, and if you’re drinking, do not mess—Lyft it, hundred percent. Just some ways to make sure you end 2018 on a v high note, bb.

Yes yes, Leo! Big things on the horizon. You get December started with a bit of an upset: Mercury, who’s been retrograde since last month, dips backward into Scorpio till the 6th, when it stations direct. This is affecting your house of career and fame, and it’s not ideal TBH. Communication breakdowns and delays at work are totes a possibility, and anything that involves your recognition (getting credit for things, becoming Insta-famous, etc.), could see some v annoying mix-ups. HOWEVS – the good news here, other than the fact that this will only last for five days, is that on the 2nd, Venus rolls right up behind Mercury and spreads her good vibes into Scorpio and this exact same house. This should help counteract whatever messes Merc. retro wants to make. Plus, Venus will hang out in this house for the rest of the month, helping you create super posi relationships at the office, love the projects you’re working on, and ensure that shit is copacetic af with all your co-workers and collab partners. You could also take that office flirtation into an IRL after-hours situation or meet someone through your work who you’re v into, so heads up there. On the 22nd, a full moon in Cancer lights up your house of income, and I am HERE for it! This moon is sextile unpredictable Uranus, so quick, v pleasant changes could be affecting your bank account around this day or bringing in opportunities to stack those hundos later down the road. Cancer is super intuitive, so should you be faced with any decision-making around this full moon, don’t even mess around with a pros and cons list—check your gut for guidance, and go with those instincts. NYE note to all signs: YO! Dec. 31st, the stars are NOT fucking around. That night, Mars, planet of war and action, moves into Aries, the sign of war and action. SO intense. You’ll def have an urge to go hard—and that’s cool—but conflict and aggression are totes poss, so easy on those shots, only hang with mellow cats, and if you’re drinking, do not mess—Lyft it, hundred percent. Just some ways to make sure you end 2018 on a v high note, bb.

A little squad drama never hurt anyone, right Virgo? On the 1st, Mercury retrograde moves out of Sagittarius and your house of career (YAS) and into Scorpio and your house of friendships (WOOF). The good news is that it’ll only be making messes here till the 6th, when it goes direct. During that stint, expect things like communication meltdowns with someone in your crew and/or on social media. With Scorpio all up in it, grudges, jealousy, and vengeance could def be in the mix. Scorpio will also set fire to any relationships she feels don’t meet her standards, (“Why burn bridges when you could turn the whole city to ash?” – Scorpio, a direct quote). That’s the bad news. The good news—other than the fact that this only lasts five days—is that on the 2nd, Venus will roll up right behind Mercury into this same house, spreading her vibes of harmony, beauty, romance, and luxury, and that should help balance out Merc.’s wily behavior. She hangs out here for the rest of the month, which will not only help clean up any disarray Merc. retrograde left in its wake, it’ll also help you bond in a real way with friends (hittin’ those holiday parties hard), create a solid network system of people who believe in your work, and/or make some magic happen in the romance department—especially with a pal (mistletoe much?) or someone you connect with via the internetz. Venus in Scorpio is sex city in the most realest of ways, so December is your month to pop on those prophylactics and enjoy yourself, Virgo. On the 22nd, a full moon in Cancer sextile Uranus lights up your house of communication. This is such a good combo. Uranus is a bit of a wild child; she likes innovation and quick changes, so you might see some unexpected good news come through around this day or have a really good convo. There may be something about your home or family life involved, since that’s Cancer’s domain. You could also just get an upgrade in communication technology (Uranus loves that). Whatever the case, remember this: If you need to make a decision around this day, use your intuition to guide you—Cancer will stand for nothing less. NYE note to all signs: YO! Dec. 31st, the stars are NOT fucking around. That night, Mars, planet of war and action, moves into Aries, the sign of war and action. SO intense. You’ll def have an urge to go hard—and that’s cool—but conflict and aggression are totes poss, so easy on those shots, only hang with mellow cats, and if you’re drinking, do not mess—Lyft it, hundred percent. Just some ways to make sure you end 2018 on a v high note, bb.

You love a good gossip sesh, Libra, but ya best be careful around the beginning of the month. On the 1st, Mercury retrograde will move out of your house of friendships and networks, and into Scorpio and your house of secrets, self-healing, and divination practices. Mercury is about communication, so all signs are pointing to trouble in secret paradise—whether you’re the subject of said secret or the spiller of its beans, I don’t know, but do your best not to blab about something if you were sworn to secrecy. Other possibilities here, with Scorpio in the mix, are that the Cosmos ask you to stand back and review grudges you’re holding—potentially around past sexual partners—so you can get clear on the best way to heal those old wounds. However this final stage of Merc. retrograde shows up for you, there is some good news: 1. Mercury goes direct on the 6th, so it’s pretty short-lived, and 2. On the 2nd, Venus cruises right up behind Mercury into this same house. Since Venus is all about love, harmony, and intimate relationships, she’ll do her part to counteract Mercury’s retrograde shenanigans as best she can, hopefully keeping the vibes at least relatively chill. And then—more good stuff—she hangs out in this house for the rest of the month, giving you a major boost to heal old wounds, get some supes powerful psychic/tarot/reiki work done, and/or tap into your own intuitive powers. Romance might even blossom from an intuitive hunch, so go with your gut, Air Mama. Speaking of, on the 22nd, a full moon in Cancer will sextile Uranus and light up your house of home. This is a killer moon anyway, but seeing as how Cancer oversees this house, it’s especially good for you. Uranus will create quick, unexpected changes, so be on the lookout for some pleasant shifts at home or in your family life. If you’re moving or remodeling, this moon will bring in some good news. Should you have to make a decision around this day, Cancer basically requires you to go with your intuition, so don’t disappoint her and she won’t disappoint you, Libra. NYE note to all signs: YO! Dec. 31st, the stars are NOT fucking around. That night, Mars, planet of war and action, moves into Aries, the sign of war and action. SO intense. You’ll def have an urge to go hard—and that’s cool—but conflict and aggression are totes poss, so easy on those shots, only hang with mellow cats, and if you’re drinking, do not mess—Lyft it, hundred percent. Just some ways to make sure you end 2018 on a v high note, bb.

You’re front and center this month, Scorpio! On the 1st, Mercury retrograde moves out of Sagittarius and into Scorpio till the 6th. For those five days, you’re especially susceptible to communication mishaps and/or mind fuckery—your brain making you question who you are, what you’re good at, and what your life is even about. So yeah, potentially a bit of an existential crisis (but also, like, maybe we should ask ourselves these questions sometimes?). That’s the tough news. But there’s good news, too! For one, Mercury goes direct on the 6th, so the clouds are gonna part pretty quickly, Scorp. Not only that, but on the 2nd, sweet, romantic, harmonious Venus will scoot right up behind Mercury into Scorpio and spread her good vibes all around, calming Merc. down and hopefully helping make sure he doesn’t get too cray with his wily retrograde business. Plus, she’ll hang out in Scorpio for the rest of the month, giving you all kinds of good feels with friends, family, and your boo/any and all potential boos. It’s basically the best, so hit up those holiday parties and get tf under that mistletoe, bb. On the 22nd, a full moon in Cancer sextile Uranus will light up your house of creativity, fun, and children. This is real good, m’dear. Uranus creates quick changes you didn’t see coming, so lots could happen here, sis: You get pregnant (Cancer is super maternal, so there’s a bit of a double whammy there); creative projects get a powerful, unforeseen boost; or opps to vacay or staycay pop up outta nowhere. It’s good shit, Scorp, and will be made all the better by you leaning into Cancer’s intuitive energy and relying on your gut instincts before making any decisions. NYE note to all signs: YO! Dec. 31st, the stars are NOT fucking around. That night, Mars, planet of war and action, moves into Aries, the sign of war and action. SO intense. You’ll def have an urge to go hard—and that’s cool—but conflict and aggression are totes poss, so easy on those shots, only hang with mellow cats, and if you’re drinking, do not mess—Lyft it, hundred percent. Just some ways to make sure you end 2018 on a v high note, bb.

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